A Hundred More Years
by listen-to-the-birdies-sing
Summary: Life for Rory is great; the perfect job, not so bad dates, books where she can turn & she's finally gotten over him.. well, until he turns up, that is. Taking her on a roller coaster ride emotion, while all she can wish for is a hundred more years to spend with none other. But when you're so in love with someone, who drives you absolutely bonkers, how do you deal with it?
1. Houston We Have A Problem

Chapter One: Houston We Have A Problem;

"So how long have you known you wanted to be a journalist?"

I look up from my glass of wine, wondering what he is talking about. My glass of wine is, literally, the only thing that is keeping me from standing up and walking out of the restaurant, leaving this man to have dinner by himself.

"Huh? Oh excuse me?"

He raised both of his eyebrows, like he'd been doing at me all night, each time making me angrier and angrier. My dating life was going down the drain by the minute, and all I could think about was going back and seeing _him_.

"How long have you known you wanted to be a journalist?"

I glare at the table. I can't believe he just snapped at me. I've had a terrible and long day at work, so excuse me for not paying full attention to anything you're saying. "Oh … sorry. Well always, I guess. I joined the school newspaper and I really loved it. And I've always been crazy about reading."

He nods and looks down at the table, our conversation dropping to nothing for the hundredth time tonight. This is why I keep missing out of when he talks – because I zone out for the time in between when he stops talking and I stay silent.

I brush a hand through my hair. I have to move. I reach down beside me and pick up my handbag from next to my chair, pulling it so it's on my lap. I stand, staggering slightly until my heels find their grip on the floor. "Could you excuse me for a moment? The bathroom is calling my name."

He doesn't hide the fact that he looks at my body first, making me shake on the inside, feeling totally and utterly creeped out, then he turns to my face. "Yeah. I expected you to say something like that."

With a look that tells him exactly what I'm thinking, I brush my skirt down again and move quickly towards the female toilets, which are located out the back, near the kitchens.

I stand there for a few moments, making sure there's nobody else in the bathroom before I grab my phone out of my bag, speed-dialling one of the two phone-number I know off by heart, both of who belongs to my mother.

She answers on the second ring, making me let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, not speaking while I listen to her ramble.

"Hi! This is Loralie and Rory! If you are Emily Gilmore, hang up now. If you are-"

"Mum, it's me." I say softly, trying to hold in the laugh that's threatening to escape my lips. I wonder if it's ever worked before … well since I was home. It never worked when I was still at home, and knowing Emily, it probably still didn't.

Emily had never been the dumbest cookie in the bunch. Well, she wasn't the smartest when she was drunk, but she was always the bitchiest.

"Oh, Rory! It's so nice to here your voice, babe."

I close my eyes and lean against the wall, despite how many germs must be surrounding me right now, I feel totally at ease. I haven't talked to mum for two days, which hurts like hell, and I'm once again reminded about how much I miss her. "I was thinking the same thing."

"So, how's the land down under, Kiddo? Tossed a shrimp on a barby yet?"

I hold in another laugh at her stupid, and failed, try at an Australian accent. "Mum."

I can tell from her voice that she's smiling. It's hard not to tell with mum. "Okay, but seriously, got many hot boys running around after you? Bet you've got a string of heart-broken, moustache-growing, singlet and shorty-short wearing guys running around after you, haven't you?"

I roll my eyes. My voice is more of a groan than anything else.

"Oh, come on, kiddo! Tell mummy everything!" she cooes into the phone.

I can't help the tears that spring to my eyes. I miss her. I miss her so bloody much. In the background, on her side of the line, I can hear the shower running and I instantly know that Luke has really moved in. It just dawns on me completely. "Er … well I'm kind of on a date right now."

"What are you doing? Hiding in the bathroom?" she jokes, showing me she's disbelieving everything I've just said.

I lick my lips, she knows me too well. "Yes?"

She pauses for a moment before her 'mummy' stage cuts in. "Than why are you calling me?! Don't get me wrong, kid, I love the fact that you've called,"

"Sounds like it." I murmur sarcastically under my breath, but she chooses to ignore me and carry on, as if I haven't said anything.

"But I want you to be happy, and if that means ditching mummy for a date, than that's what you've got to do. How's the date going, by the way?"

I scratch my thumb with my nails, a nervous habit I've gotten from my work career. "Actually it's not going so great. He's kind of-"

"A bastard? Ugly? A gangster who broke out of prison just to steal your heart? I mean, that's romantic-"

"Mum!" I whine. She's gotten carried away once again. "He's just … dull! I've never met someone so bloody dull! Someone who I can't keep a conversation with."

She pauses for a moment, "How long has your longest conversation been?"

I think hard. "About a minute."

"Abort! Abort! Abort! Houston we have a problem! Abort! Abort! Abort!" she declares.

In the background, the shower stops and I can hear footsteps on the tiles, that are white and I can see in my head.

"I can't. I don't want to be rude!" I whisper into the phone, blinking in alarm.

The sound of her licking her lips through the phone is obvious, and I can hear the bathroom door open. "Well how long have you been in the bathroom?"

"How long have we been talking?" I shoot back. Slowly I stand straight on my feet again, running a hand through my brown curls that now reach my ribs as I look at myself in the mirror.

"It's been twenty-minutes, Kiddo. I think it's time you go back and face your gangster."

"Is that Rory?" _Luke!_

"Yes," mum shoots back.

"Hey Rory! I miss you, darling."

"Tell him I miss him, too." I sigh, the thought of being home sounding more and more appealing with each passing second. "I have to go."

"I know." she replies.

The two words she's said say so much more and we stay silent for a minute, neither of us hearing anything but the other one breathing over the line.

"When will we see you?" I can't help but hear the hope in her voice and my stomach drops.

I try to think of a time, but I know what I have to say. Because the truth is, I won't be free for the next few _months_. "I don't know, mum. I have to-"

"Work." she sighs. "I know."

We cross another silence, while another minute passes.

"Hey, Rory?" she says softly. "I love you."

My voice is equally as soft as hers, proving how much I do. "I love you too, Mummy."

"Miss you."

"Miss you more."

I hang up before I finish the last word.

It's ridiculous how hard it is to be away from my mother, but I can't help myself. Tears form in my eyes and I lean on the sink, taking a few deep breaths to steady myself before I grab my handbag and return back to the table.

He looks up, draining his glass of red wine and blinks, as if checking if I'm really there. "Sorry for taking so long, Jess, I had to make a call."

He looks up at me, a frown forming on his lips, while I take my seat. "It's _John_."

_You already told me that! _I think in my head but I purse my lips and raise my eyebrows, like every good date should. "Excuse me?"

He shook his head, as if he's fed up, and the truth is, I don't blame him. "You called me_ Jess_, it's _John_."

I stiffen slightly. How could I have called him Jess. I don't even have feelings for Jess any more, do I? I want to say "no" but I know the answer is really "yes". The truth is, I never really got over my feelings for Jess. He was the love of my life. Or, the second love-of-my-life, or so I thought when I was younger. I was convinced Dean was the love of my life at one point. But than along came Jess, a bad-boy who made me fall head-over-heels in love with him. The only boy who'd ever left me … multiple times. The only boy, I know I'd forever have some form of feelings for.

"You know, you seem kinda distracted. I have a big day tomorrow and it's late," as he began the '_I'm-leaving-you-but-making-it-seem-like-I-have-something-to-do_' speech, my eyes travelled over to the clock on the wall behind his head. Yes, 8:20pm, how ridiculously late!

I zone back in for the, "so I should go".

I nod and blink, not looking at him until I've finished saying the words. It's not something I mean, and the tone of my voice shows it, but I've been taught not to be impolite, so I'm going to forget my manners. "It was nice to meet you."

He rolls his eyes as he stand up. "Yes, _nice_. And don't worry, I put the food on my tab."

I shoot him the best "thank you" smile I can muster up and wait until he's walked out of the double doors before I stand from my seat and walk over to the bar, taking a seat.

The bartender, a twenty-something-year old man with a red mohawk, a pair of faded jeans with a chain and a black shirt, looks me up and down with an appreciative smile before he asks me what I want.

"Is my friends tab still open?" I ask, batting my eyelashes.

I have to do this before I run out of game and back away from my idea. He nods his head slowly. He's not stupid and he knows _exactly_ what's going on, but he doesn't say anything and he doesn't call the cops, or security on me. I appreciate this man, it's nice to have a stranger who doesn't want to stab me in the back.

"Can I please have two bottles of wine? One red and on white would suffice."

He put them on the bar in front of me. "And this is going on Mr. Jason's tab?"

Josh Jason? He never told me that was his name. Wait- was his name even Josh? I can't even remember what we'd been talking about, or what he looked like. "Yes, thank you."

I grab the bottles of wine and stand to my feet, this time not staggering at all, completely confident and happy.

"Hey!"

I turn around after my few steps away from him and blink. "Yes?"

His words are careful, as if he's been thinking about them for a while, and this isn't just a spur of the moment thing. "I'm sure he _knows_, you're putting those on his tabs. But I'm just warning, stranger-to-stranger, he's pretty tight about his cash. I wouldn't know why, since he's practically a millionaire, but he'll come after you."

I smile at him. "Don't worry about it – I leave in two days to go to England."

He doesn't pause for a moment. "Well, that's a shame. I was going to ask if I could take you out."

A smile passes over my lips. "How about we make a deal …"


	2. So Bland

Chapter Two: So Bland;

I stumble into my hotel room thirty minutes later, my bottles of wine un-opened in my hands, my handbag on my shoulder, with the bartender's number written on a napkin.

We'd made a deal that, if by chance, I came back to Australia, he'd take me out on a date, as long as I promised not to steal any more wine from _millionaires_, something my date had forgotten to add into the conversation.

I close my eyes as I step out of my heels, feeling as if I'm in pure bliss when I drop the wine on my bed and fall back, sitting in the chair next to my bed.

And the banging of a door makes me jump to my feet. I look at the door, where it looks like someone is going to bash in and kill me. Being the stupid girl in the horror movie that I always abuse the crap out, I slowly creep towards the door. "Who is it?"

"It's Henry! Open up! Open up! Open up!" he sounds like a four-year-old as he yells at me through the pale white door.

I've been living in this hotel room all by myself for two months now, doing the same routine every day. Work, home, sleep, work. Over and over and over again.

Quite quickly, the hotel room got boring. The white carpet that I'd once poured over for being so clean got dirty. The walls that were cream-coloured suddenly looked bland. There were no pictures in the room, making me feel lonelier than ever before. The only good thing was I had a television, so I could watch the crappy shows, that Australian's call "reality".

Snapping back to reality, with Henry still banging on the door and yelling at me to open it, I close my eyes and lean against the door for a moment. I feel sorry for the neighbours, especially the woman next door since she has a three-month old with her and it hardly ever sleeps.

I've been trained to sleep through anything, living with mum and Luke, plus being on the road, I can sleep through anything, including a smoke-alarm (mum decided to test). But she, she's a new mother, and her brain hasn't yet come to the decision to let her sleep, and her baby is up crying through all hours of the night, as she tells me most mornings.

Our visits always turn out the same. We walk out to get the paper at the same time. She says hello, I say hello. She apologises for her baby crying, and I have to pretend that it doesn't bother me, so I don't rub in the fact that I've been asleep while she's been dealing with the baby situation alone.

I knew the neighbours would all hate me for the rest of the time I lived in the stingy hotel room.

Despite the fact I'd been in there for so long, if I had to admit it, the room wasn't _that_ bad. It had a working bathroom, two king-sized beds, there were curtains to keep out the sunlight for people who actually got days off, which I hadn't had in a matter of months. There was a remote for the television and a menu for room-service and for a while that was all I needed.

My stomach had gotten a size bigger in two months, since Henry, my asshole of a boss, paid for us all. The hotel, the food, it was all part of the package, including the mostly 18-hour days.

I pull the door open cautiously, sighing and raising my eyebrows, not moving from where I'm leaning against the door frame. "Yes, Henry?"

He narrows his eyes at me and looks past me into my bedroom. I pull the door back to my neck. I know he's looking for someone else in my room, and even though there isn't any one, it's none of his business if there is or if there isn't.

He shoots me a filthy glare when I pull the door back and taps his foot impatiently. "Where have you been?! Why'd you get in so late?!"

I can't believe it. I'm twenty-three years old! I should _not_ have to explain my whereabouts to a little jerk. But I don't want to anger him, and the bed behind me is calling my name. So, instead of making a snap back comeback, that's going to get me into another fight and more trouble than it's worth, I yawn and stretch, showing him I'm tired. "I had a date, Henry."

His chooses this moment to push me up to the cliff. "No dates on work nights."

I turn and quickly my neck snaps to look at the clock on the wall behind my bed. "It's not even nine-thirty, Henry. Relax."

When I look back at him, he's still glaring at me. "_No dates on work nights!_"

I can't help myself. "Henry it's the first date I've had in five fucking months!"

We had a break five months ago and I'd been home with mum, so spending time with men while I was there wasn't my first priority. In fact, it hadn't even crossed my mind.

Even Luke, a man who I'd grown up with, got the point that he had to leave. And he _lived_ at our house, he was my mother's fiance. They were very happy together, totally in love, and you only had to look at the to see it.

I'd been home for two weeks and then I'd been called back into work, so I left again. Before those very short two weeks, I hadn't seen my mum – my best friend – in nine months.

Spending time away from your family is normally hard … but with my family? My _real_ family? It just consists of me and my mother (and sometimes Luke). So, it wasn't a secret that being away from my mother for eleven months, and seeing her for two weeks in those eleven months, was incredibly hard.

When I'd gone back for the two weeks, Taylor had called a community meeting, something I didn't realise how much I'd miss until I got home and got to go to another one.

Before that, I'd be lucky to get time to call mum once a week. My schedule was hectic, and I couldn't find any time between sleeping, showering, eating and working.

The town agreed to pay for my phone bill if I started calling mum every two or three days, since apparently she'd been going crazy. When she exclaimed she hadn't, she looked at Luk for back-up, but he simply looked at his hands.

He hadn't wanted to go to the town meeting to start with. He _never_ wanted to go to the town meetings, even before he and mum had gotten together and started dating. He was just a very "I'm-Not-Optimistic" person. But that was the way the town loved him, and my mother seemed to love him for it even more.

"I don't give a _shit_ if it's the first time you've had a normal conversation that didn't include work for _five years_! _NO GOING OUT ON DATES ON WORK NIGHTS_!"

My eyes narrow at him. I can't help it. I'm going to scream, and he's going to wish he hadn't been born. "THE ONLY REASON YOU'RE DECLARING 'NO DATE ON WORK NIGHTS' IS BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T GET A DATE, EVEN IF YOU WANTED TO," I can see his blood boiling as his face literally turns red, but I can't stop. "AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?! I QUIT!"

I can't believe it. I just quit. And I feel _amazing_about it. I watch as his face alters and he pales, his mouth forming an 'o' as he blinks time and time again. "No! Rory! You can't, you're the best reporter we've had in-"

I slam the door in his face, his fish eyes bulging out even more as I smile and try to hold in a giggle. I don't want him to know I'm laughing about quitting from the only job I've ever loved. I know I'll be able to get a job, no matter where I go, but I know I have to go home before I can even begin to think of another job.

My smile takes over my whole face as I realise something; I'm going home to see my mum.

* * *

"When. Did. Suitcases. Get. So. Friggin'. Heavy?!" I grunt, pulling my luggage out of the back of the cab.

I called the airport, giving them notice that I was catching the first plane back home. They'd told me I had two hours to get to the airport, and I still had to pack.

So I rang around my hotel room like a crazy person, grabbing everything I could think of and shoving it into my bag.

By the time I got to the airport, I had forty minutes before my plane took off, and I was proud I was able to complete so much in an hour and twenty minutes.

I didn't ring mum to tell her I'd be home soon, I didn't want to ruin the news, but I did send Luke a text message. I didn't bother to figure out what time it was on his side of the screen, but I did tell him what time my flight arrived and I asked if he could come to the airport to pick me up.

I wanted to surprise mum. I should've known than that Luke couldn't keep anything from that woman, no matter how hard he tried.

So I got on the plane, pulled the blanket that the hostess had given to me over me, closed my eyes and fell asleep, making sure I wouldn't have jet-lag, and I'd be able to spend as much time with her as possible.

When I get off the plane and walk out of the gate, my eyes instantly scan the bunch of people until I find him.

He's standing off to the side, away from the bunch of people, looking awkward in his jeans, fingerless gloves, flannel shirt with a white shirt underneath it and his backward baseball-cap.

When I start walking towards him, he looks up, muttering something under his breath, and then his eyes find mine and he a stupid smile breaks out on both of our faces.

I can't help myself. He's always been a second-father to me, so when I get to him, I launch myself into his arms and he holds me tightly, picking me from the ground and spinning me around a few times before planting me back on the ground.

He takes a step back and looks me up and down, putting his hands on my arms. "All good? Still in one piece?"

Taking him by surprise, I step back into his arms and hug him tightly, burying my head in his shoulder. "Thank you so much."

I can feel him stiffen. This is getting too personal for his comfort and he pats my back awkwardly, like he'd do if I was his son or if I'd just won a football match.

"That's alright, Kiddo."

Another smile appears on my face. So Luke has picked up my nickname.

He frowns when he realises what he just said and shakes hi head. "Oh, I spend too much time with your bloody mother, Rory."

I can't help but laugh. I'm glad they _finally_ got together. It wasn't a secret that they'd end up together some time in the future, but I'm glad it wasn't when they were 80-years-old, in rocking chairs and dying when they admitted that they loved each other. "I can tell."

Even though on the outside he's frowning, I can see his eyes twinkle, like they do whenever my mother gets brought into the conversation and I know, without a doubt, that he loves her with the whole of his heart. And, despite what he says, it's not cold and it is beating.

He wraps his arm around my shoulders. "Come on, we'll go get your luggage. You have a lot of explaining to do, little miss sunshine."

I raise my eyebrows as we walk, but don't say anything. What a strange nickname for Luke to come out with. I think he's about as shocked as I am with what just came out of his mouth, but he doesn't say anything so I chose not to, either. After all, _he's_ doing _me_ a favour by driving out here at 4am to get me.

Once we've found my luggage, and nearly pushed over two teenagers who won't stop making-out in the middle of the airport, which had Luke glaring at them and pretending to gag behind their back, we slowly make our way out of the airport doors.

Luke's got two suitcases with him, and I have another, smaller and lighter one. "I'm glad you're back, Rory."

I look over at him as he pulls out of the car park and drives out onto the main road that, when we follow it for long enough, will take us home and to my mother. "So am I."

"It hasn't been the same without you, that's for sure." he shakes his head.

I raise my eyebrows. "Has mum been running a muck all over town again?"

"Do you really need to even ask that question?" he asked, not taking his eyes off the road.

I share a secret smile with myself. No, I don't. And even though the town is going to kill me, for not calling 'frequently enough', it's nice to know that she missed me so much she went crazy on the town again.

"In a town that everyone's crazy, I think she could be elected town-mayor."

"I don't think Taylor would enjoy that." I shoot back.

He pauses for a moment. I know he wants to tell me something, but than he changes his mind and shakes his head, as if getting rid of the thought before he repeats himself. "Mmm. I'm glad you're back."

I turn to look at the sun, that's rising in the distance and lean back, watching it in a comfortable silence with Luke.

This is it. This is what I needed. I'm finally home.


	3. 7am At The Gilmore Residence

Chapter Three: 7am At The Gilmore Residence; 

When we get to our house, it's 7am, and my stomach is full with nervous butterflies. I can't believe it – I'm finally home.

Luke stops walking when we get inside, giving me room to do what I need to do. I know he feels as if this is my house, not his and mums. This is mums and my house, in his eyes, and it always will be. He just lives there.

I've always tried to make Luke feel welcome in our family. After all, he's a big part of it, and I know he's the only male other than her father who's never really hurt mum.

Even when I was a baby, he would've done anything for her, no matter what she wanted or needed, he's always been there for her, and I know it won't change, whether something happens between them or not.

"She's upstairs." he says quietly, as if not to disturb her.

Than I feel stupid. It's 7am, why would she be up yet? As quietly as I can, I creep up the stairs and turn to their bedroom. I place my Converse sneakers down on the ground. I'd taken them off some time in Luke's car on the ride home, but I can't remember doing it.

I slowly sink down to Luke's side of the bed and pull the covers over me, moving closer to her.

She's frowning, as if she's having a disturbing dream, and her hairs all over the place. She doesn't look any different from the last time I saw her, accept for one thing; she looks sad.

I put my nose on hers and she smiles slightly, letting out a little giggle. It surprises me, since I thought she was sleep, but I don't say anything.

Their sheets are a pretty shade of purple, and I know mum had to twist his arm to get them, since Luke would never agree to anything so "girly". I don't want to think about what she had to do to get him to agree.

"Where were you?" she sighs, not opening her eyes. "You can't sneak in and think I won't notice. I'm might be sleepy but I'm not a complete idiot."

I lick my lips. "I was in Australia, as you should know."

Without a moment of hesitation her eyes snap open, and she stares at me as if I've got two heads. Than, before I know what's going on, she's sobbing like a crazy person.

Alarm bells ring in my ears and I shuffle closer to her so that my body is pressed up against hers, wrapping my arms around her. "Mum? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

She doesn't pull back, just keeps her head pressed into my neck.

"Mum, come on! Are you okay?" I whispered, rubbing her back.

It's painful, watching her in pain without being able to do anything, since I don't know what's causing her to feel it. "I missed you so much."

And then, before I can help myself, I'm crying too, my tears hitting Luke's pillow and making a large puddle.

And that's how we stay for hours, crying and holding each other. Once we've gotten over the crying stage, we move on to the talking, and we don't move from the bed for the rest of the day, only getting up to go to the bathroom.

* * *

"How'd you sleep?"

I watch them from across the table as Luke bends down and kisses mum's lips, than her forehead before he turns back around and goes to the stove to finish cooking dinner.

It's 8:49pm, and mum and I have just gotten out of bed. I had a shower and got changed into my pyjamas, since there's nothing I have to do before tomorrow. Everything can wait.

"Well … I had to get up and go and get this one from the airport."

Both Luke and I stiffen. We both know he's said the wrong thing and he's going to have hell to pay now.

"YOU KNEW SHE WAS COMING HOME?!" she almost yells at him and I see him shiver. I shake my head and tut at him. He could've saved himself and said he didn't have a good sleep, but instead he had to go into the details and now he's in trouble.

"Yes?" he says softly, unsure, as if he's wondering whether or not mum's going to jump across the table and eat his face off.

"AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!" she yells this time, causing both of us to flinch. She has a very high-pitched yell.

I come to Luke's rescue before he can dig himself a bigger ditch. "No, he didn't know I was coming home. I mean, I texted him when I was at the airport so he'd come and get me because, _obviously_, I didn't have my car and taxi's are so overpriced!"

She turns her glaring eyes on me and I put my hands up in the air as if surrendering. "Why didn't you text _me_?"

I know straight away she's not going to be civil about this, no matter what bullshit I feed into her mind, so I tell her the truth. "I wanted to surprise you. Plus, I know how you feel when you don't get your sleep, and you're not _nice_. I wanted to spend a good day with my mummy."

Luke groans. I know he hates it when I call her my 'mummy' because it just makes her carry on more about me being her 'baby', but he has the common sense not to say anything. Instead he stays silent and keeps cooking. _Good choice_, I shoot him in my mind.

Mum doesn't say anything else on the subject, but she glares daggers at both of us, and I choice to change the topic. "So, do you want me to tell you the story of how I quit?"

Her mood instantly lightens and her eyes twinkle with evil laughter. "I'm intrigued, do go on."

* * *

"I can't believe how much of a jerk Henry is!" mum exclaims for the hundredth time as she pours coffee into the mugs we've already drained.

I think it's our worst habit – we can't get enough coffee. We drink too much, as much as we can, as often as we can.

I grab the warm mug in my hands and take a deep breath, letting the intoxicating smell go through my body. I love it. There's nothing like coffee in the universe. Especially Luke's coffee.

If I died to the smell of coffee, I would be the happiest dying girl in the history of the world. "I know … like it's not like it was 1am or anything. If I'd been back in the hotel room, I would've just been watching television-"

"Or reading. Don't forget the reading." she cuts in, reading my mind.

Mum takes a seat next to me. Luke is on the other side of her, fidgeting with one of the million tools he has. As always, he's wearing his baseball-cap backwards, one of his hundred pairs of jeans, a plain grey shirt, and his red flannel shirt over top of it. I was glad to see that even the dating life couldn't change him and his sense of style.

There was always something homely seeing Luke when he was dressed in his normal "uniform" as mum referred to it.

If I had to use three words to explain Luke, I know the three I'd use because they're him straight through. Scruffy, lovable and protective.

I'd always loved Luke. Not as in the 'I-Want-You' way, but I did love him. He was the guy who I could tell everything to, (not that I didn't tell mum first!) and he wouldn't tell anyone else or judge me. Not only was he good for keeping secrets, but he would always take care of me.

I smile at her. How could I ever forget the reading.

Suddenly, something crosses her face and she turns to look at Luke, who's still fiddling with his gadget. "Since you picked her up, without telling me, does that mean you told her than?"

I raise my eyebrows at Luke as he shifts guiltily and looks out of the kitchen window. He thinks he can make a quick escape.

We all go into a awkward silence and I know it's my turn. "Listen, I have to run out for a little while. I'll be back soon, though."

Mum looks at me with wide eyes. "But you just got home! You can't leave-"

"I'm not _leaving_, I'm going out. I'll be back in half-an-hour. An hour tops." I shoot her a reassuring smile. "Mum, don't worry. I don't have a job to run away to any more, remember?"

A happy smirk crosses her features and she giggles as she takes a sip of her coffee.

"I can't believe you're happy that she doesn't have a job any more." Luke sighs, shaking his head. He obviously hasn't come to terms with how weird my mother is, despite how long they've known each other.

She raises her eyebrows and looks confused. "Why? It means she has more time with her mummy."

I leave them, walking out the back door, while Luke explains that I'm twenty-three years old and I no longer need a 'mummy'. He obviously doesn't know me, either.


	4. Tackled On The Street

Chapter Four: Tackled On The Street;

"So Lane was excited to see you, hey?" mum asks as I step into the kitchen, still in my pyjamas, my eyes still shut.

Without even bothering to open them, I find my way to the table and put my head down on the table. "Coffee. First. Talk. Later."

She lets out a small laugh and strokes my hair before she slides a mug over and the sweet smell of coffee goes up my nose, making me sit up.

I drain the whole cup in two minutes and she stands, refilling it before she takes her seat again.

"She was pretty excited." I agree, yawning. "She tackled me."

Mum lets out a laugh, not taking me literally and I shake my head, blinking and opening my eyes. The light is piercing and I don't like it, so I have to blink a few times before they adjust. "No, seriously, do you know how sore my ass is right now?"

"She _tackled _you? What a-" she starts to say, only to have the sentence interrupted by the doorbell ringing.

She smiled at me, telling me with her eyes what she was going to say. I know she's kidding around. Lane's been around since my first day of kindergarten, and mum thinks of her as a second daughter. Mum stands an walks out of the room, disappeaing into the lounge-room, heading towards the front door.

"It's a beautiful morning!" she says in a sing-song voice as she pulls the door open. "Oh, Emily … Dad!"

"I can't believe you didn't tell us Rory was here!" Emily's sharp voice snaps and then her high-heeled clack of footsteps starts heading towards us.

Before I even know what's happening, Luke is gone, his seat pushed out, the back door (in the kitchen) left open behind him.

I stare at it. What was going on around here?

"Oh, come in." mum says, sarcastically, shutting the door.

"I can't believe you didn't say Rory was here!" Emily snaps again, her footsteps only outside the archway that was meant to be a door.

They're in view, but nobody has even bothered to look at me yet and I'm thankful. Maybe I could sneak into my room and get changed without them noticing? I know I'll get a talking to if Emily sees me in my pyjamas at noon.

"She only got in last night, Emily." mum lies, through her teeth.

I pause and listen to them. That was a lie, but that's what is bothering me. Is it just in my mind, or are mum and Emily butting heads more than usual? I can't tell. Maybe I've just been away for too long, I tell myself.

"Speaking of it, how _did_ you know that she was back?" mum asks as she comes into the room, in my vision as well.

Emily still hasn't noticed me. "How do I find out _anything_ that's happening in your life, Loralie?"

"Sookie!" mum growls, her eyes narrowing.

"Oh my! Could it be?" Richard asks in a joking manner, ignoring mum completely.

Grandma turns to look at me and her eyes twinkle. "I'm so glad you're home, darling."

"My little girl looks so grown up." Richard, exclaims, pretending to wipe his eyes.

I stand up and kissed both of them on both cheek (a little thing I'd picked up from my writing in France) and hug them, holding Richard for a little bit longer than Emily.

I know it's not a good thing to be in my pyjamas in front of Emily, and suddenly I feel totally self-concious.

I love Emily, but Richard, I know, will _always _be there for me, whether I'm wearing a fancy dress or my jeans with a baseball sweater. I know, for a fact, that Emily much prefers me to wear girly things, and, if her friends were around and I'm dressed normally, she doesn't like me being around.

Emily pushes me back suddenly, holding on to my arms. "We read your column on the beaches in Mexico, darling, it was wonderful!"

"What? How?!" mum asks, finally joining in on the conversation. Her tone is lethal and she glares at me, asking me a silent question that I answer by shaking my head. How could she even think I'd send them one?

Emily looks over her shoulder at her daughter, saying one sentence and completely dismissing her. "You aren't the only one who cares about Rory, here, Loralie. We subscribed to the magazine so we could get her messages, too."

I give mum a pleading look, but she has an evil glint in her eyes and I know she isn't going to shut up.

"Actually, I _didn't_ subscribe, mother, Rory sent them to me."

Everyone goes silent. I glare at mum, mum shoots a stuck up 'I-Win-You-Lose' smile at Emily, and Emily, I can feel, is staring at the side of my face with such a look I start to blush.

I cough uncomfortably which seems to shoot everyone back into life-mode and Richard, being the best Grandpa in the world, takes the scene into action. "So how long are you home for this time, Rory? And where to next?"

He's smiling as he pulls his wife down into a chair and then sits next to it.

I look at mum as she sits down in the chair that Luke had been in. Doesn't she realise that he's run? I'm very intrigued as to where the hell he went.

I'm also wondering what the hell is going on around here.

I sit down trying to find the right words to use. What can I say that won't make them want to kick my ass? "Actually, I'm not going back."

"Not going back, _yet._" Emily drawls, smiling to me. "But how long until you leave, or don't you know that yet?"

Mum and I look at each other and then I take a deep breath and explain as simply as I can, trying not to make it sound worse that it was. "Actually, I'm not going back … ever. You see, I kind of quit my job."

Emily's pale face gets even paler at the news. "What do you mean, you _kind of quit_?"

I lick my lips with nervousness and Emily snaps at me. "For goodness sake, Rory, you're twenty-three years old, would you get out of that hideous habit?!"

"She means she quit, mother!" mum shouts at her, sticking up for me. "And when we're in _my_ house, she can do what she wants. You have no right to tell her which habits to get in and out of. Now, I've lost my politeness."

We all stay silent again, and in that time I watch mum. I'm used to Emily saying this kind of thing; she'd been like it since I'd been old enough to walk, why is mum so offended?

The two ladies have an obvious glaring competition, neither of them blinking, making the tension in the room 10 times worse.

_It can't get any worse_, I tell myself. I clear my throat. "I got in a fight with my boss-"

"RORY!" Emily cries, outrage shaking her voice.

I bite my lip. "I can't remember which words I used, _exactly_."

"How dare you even think that, despite saying it out loud! He paid you-" Emily chastises, making me feel smaller than usual when I'm in her presence.

"**Get out of my house**."

We all stop and stay completely still, not just silent, all of us looking at mum once again.

"Excuse me?" Emily asks, her eyes narrow, starting to rise to her feet.

Mum narrows her eyes right back. "I warned you I'd lost my politeness, now I've lost my patience also. Get out of my house."

"Loralie, don't be dumb! We came to say hello to Rory. She is our granddaughter, after-" Emily tries to talk.

"I am not being dumb, mother. You came, you said hello. You were also _horrible_ to her, not to mention me. I do not care if she is your granddaughter, if she wants to you she can go to _your_ house. You will not come here again unless invited. And, quite frankly, mother, I wouldn't understand why she would want to see you."

I stare at my mum. NEVER before have I heard her voice sound so dangerous. And where is all the confidence coming from? Emily has said much worse things and we've never yelled at her for it.

Both Richard and I stay silent, watching the scene play out in front of us, neither of us really knowing what to do.

"I can see that we're not welcome here, so-"

"You're not welcomed her, dad's welcomed any time he'd like-"

"Now, Loralie, that's enough! When you need to talk to us, we'll be at home." Richard says gruffly, helping Emily to her feet before they walk out of the house, shutting the front door behind them.

I look over at mum and she looks back at me. "What?"

"What the hell was that?" I ask, shaking my head, my face in a frown.

She plays dumb, obviously not wanting to talk about it. "What was what?"

"That!"

"What?!"

"I think we need more coffee." I say softly, rolling my eyes. "Oh, yeah, where'd Luke go?"

She licks her lips (_pick on that, Emily_), and watches me while I stand pour us both another cup of warm coffee into new mugs since our old ones had been cold in the half and hour or so that Emily and Richard were there.

Luke walks back into the room and sits down at the table, squeezing mum's hand. "I'm right here, kiddo."

I turn around slowly, uncertainly, and look at both of them, putting my hands on my hips, the mugs of coffee on the bench behind me.

There's something weird going on, that was for sure.

I can't get the pictures of the night before out of my mind.

The first time I saw Lane in months, and she tackles me. Such a Lane thing to do.

* * *

"_Rory?"_

_I smile at her, waiting for a moment before I'm pushed back, my but finding the ground as she hugs me tightly, not noticing that she just pushed me over. "Hey, Lane."_

"_WHEN DID YOU GET BACK?!" she squeals, not letting go of me._

_I lick my lips. "Today."  
_

"_I didn't think you got back for months!" she squeals again, this time in delight._

_I squeeze her tightly. "I quit."_

_She doesn't say anything but I know she's impressed from the way she clings to me tighter._

We sit on the street for a few more minutes, before she realises where we are and then stands, pulling me with her to my feet.

_She looks me up and down. "Holy crap! I'm so glad you're back! My girls back!"_

_Her eyes got wide all of a sudden and her face broke out into a jaw-cracking grin. _

"_Lane?" I ask, raising my eyebrows, one eye getting smaller suspiciously. "Lane?"_

_She suddenly snaps back to reality and looks at me with a great big smile. "Wednesday night! Your house! I'll invite Snookie and your mum, obviously. Don't worry, I'll make everything alright. No need to worry."_

_Without another word she kissed my cheek and than ran back to her house, stopping out the front to wave at me._

_So much for my plans of having a girls night with her while mum and Luke did the naughty..._


	5. Passing Out On Coffee

**A/N: So hi guys! (: I'm Tiarn, and I just want to thank everyone who's looked at my story up until here, since there are ALOT ... a lot more than expected. But out of those hundreds of people, I've got 5 reviews, one of which was from my twin sister so I don't know if that counts or not :S So I'm asking for you to review, because I need your opinion. I've written up to chapter 16, but I don't know whether or not I should just pull the plug on it since nobody's reviewing. So tell me if you like it, or if I should delete it. Please. It will only take 1 minute of your time. Thank you (: x**

* * *

Chapter Five: Passing Out On Coffee Tables;

Wednesday night comes around more quickly than I expected, and I'm standing in front of the mirror, looking myself up and down.

I've made a deal that I won't get drunk tonight. I'll probably have two drinks. Maybe three, but I promise myself I won't get drunk, since I know how much of a mess I turn into when I do get intoxicated.

"So do you know where we're going yet?" mum asks from the other side of the bathroom door.

I apply the last of my eye-liner, going with the 'cat-eye' look, and pull my heel on firmly. I've chosen something that's not realistic for dancing, since it barely covers my but to start with, and when I pull it down my boobs pop out, but something that I know I'll have fun in all the same.

_Beside_, I smile to myself,_ if I flash someone it's not like I've got a boyfriend to worry about_.

I'm so surprised by what just crossed my mind that I stare straight at myself in the mirror, and my stomach drops. Am I changing? Am I getting stuck up because I know I look good in this dress?

I wonder if I should change before mum knocks on the door, a little urgently. "Kid? You still alive? You okay?"

I shake my head and blink. "Sorry, what?"

"Do you know where we're going yet?" mum asks.

I can tell from her tone of voice she's relaxed again and I smile. I must have the most layed-back mum ever. "No, not yet."

"Can you come out and do this dress up for me?" she murmurs.

I smile. She needs me as much as I need her, and when I pull the door open she's facing away from me, the back of her dress undone. "Yeah, of course I can."

"I don't know what I'd do without you, kid." she smiles, turning around.

Her mouth drops open and she stares at me. "Oh my dear god."

I blink. "Is it too much?"

She looks me up and down, and if it wasn't my mother I think I'd feel pretty violated. "Oh, hell no! My daughter looks hotter than me."

I pause for a moment and frown. "Isn't that the way it's meant to be?"

She looks outraged. "NO! Haven't you seen those magazines? _Boys aren't interested in me, because my mums so HOT_."

I laugh and walk past her, reaching the bottom of the stairs as the doorbell rings.

With mum talking, I pull the door open and get barged, hugged, kissed and squeezed by Sookie and Lane.

And suddenly, I know without a doubt it's going to be one of the best nights I'll ever have.

"Oh we're so glad to have you home!" Sookie smiles, gushing with happiness and drunkenness.

"YES WE ARE!"

I hold both of their hands and squeeze them tightly. I've missed these nights – I've missed them.

* * *

Life has caught with with Sookie and Lane. They both have beautiful babies. They've both gotten married. They're both happy. But they both still make time for us, and that's what makes me believe I'll always have them in my life no matter how badly I screw up.

I know that if my mum was someone different, Lane would be my best friend. We've grown up together, gone to high-school together, been the closest of friends anyone could wish for. And Sookie? Well Sookie is the cutest little chef of our family.

Sookie and mum have a bed-and-breakfast together, that is so beautiful I get breathless just looking at it. In a crazy little town, it's nice to know we can find 'normal' friends.

"So tell us all about it!" Lane squeals.

We all turn to look at her, her hands resting on the bench in front of us. Her big surprise had been Luke's Diner. Yes, we are sitting in the place where we have most of our meals every day. But it is shut, since it is 9:30 at night, and the bench which usually held food now holds numerous bottles of alcohol.

Lane has taken a few extra shots than the rest of us had, and I smile at myself on the inside. I have stuck to my promise; I'm the only one out of our group who isn't drunk.

She smiles and takes another shot, putting the glass down on the bench. She puts both of her hands up in the air and whistles. "Whoopee!"

Sookie, who has only taken three shots so far, turns back to look at me and smiles. "Yeah, tell us all about it."

I scratch my head and look at Lane, who doesn't look stable and then nod to mum who's staring at me with wide eyes. I know some things on her mind, but she hasn't said anything yet. "Okay. But first can we go upstairs? I have a feeling soon _some of us_," I look directly at Lane, although she's too drunk to notice, "will be too drunk to face the stairs and if she has a hangover tomorrow, I'm guessing Luke won't like to see her beautiful face when he comes in for the morning shift."

Without another word, we all take a hike, which proves difficult when we face the stairs. Everyone accept Lane is on the verge of being sober, so they're fine, but Lane takes one step and then falls, laughing and snorting. She obviously hasn't drunken very much since the last time I saw her. She would be able to handle alcohol now, if she had.

Sookie stands behind her and pushes her, while mum and I put the alcohol we're holding in one hand and hold her with the other, practically carrying her up the stairs so she doesn't fall down and die.

Once we get to the apartment upstairs, where we've planned to spend the night, Lane sits down on the lounge and grabs the shot glasses, as well as the alcohol, taking another shot.

None of us even think to cut her off – the truth is, she deserves a night to get drunk and than have a killer hangover. She deserves a night off from wife/mother, and to be a carefree twenty-three year old.

"So tell us." Sookie smiles, urging me to carrying on about journalism.

I scratch my forehead. "Well, being a journalist has it's perks, believe me-"

"Like getting to travel around the world." Sookie chimes in.

"Exactly." I smile, nodding towards her.

"And getting to meet very sexy men with beards to carry you and your things around." mum pipes in, her teeth pulling up into a drunken grin.

I realise, she's been doing shots with Lane while I've been talking to Sookie. I raise my eyebrows but don't say anything. On the inside I'm thinking _way to go, mum. _She's obviously looking to have a good night, and I don't have the heart to cut her off either.

I look at Lane, who's singing something under her breath and talking to the bottle of Tequila in her hands, swaying back and forth to the off-tune music coming out of her mouth.

I'm impressed she hasn't passed out yet, and I think Sookie and mum would be, too, if they weren't getting drunk.

"Yeah, even though the way you put it's slightly disturbing, yeah." I smile at mum, ignoring the fact that Sookie grabbed the bottle out of Lane's hand and take a massive swig of it, causing Lane to scream and let out a strangled sound like a cry of pain.

"And having sex with that hottie Henry!" Lane wolf-whistles, slamming her head down on to the coffee table in front of us.

Before any of us can argue with her about how Henry is not sexy, she's asleep and snoring loudly.

Mum looks over at me, trying to be serious, even though with the drunken smile she has on her face she looks like she's holding in a laugh. "You didn't sleep wit-"

"NO MUM!" I yell, scrunching up my face to show my disgust.

"Good." she sighs. Then she smiles. "Good!"

Mum is the next one to crash, falling asleep and taking up the whole lounge when Sookie and I went to get her the glass of water she requested we both get.

In my head, I thank Luke for letting us use his house. I don't know what I'd do if we had to go home after out night. I don't think anybody would make it, and we'd all sleep in the middle of the park.

Sookie and I try, again and again, but it's no use – mum's out. "Guess that means it's time for us to crash."

I shrug my shoulders and she blinks slowly, not knowing what to do. "Well, if you want you can sleep here and I'll go home or-"

"Sookie, it's okay," I laugh. "I don't mind sharing a bed with you."

She nods her head and than walks over and slips under the covers. I sit on the bench in the kitchen and wait until she falls asleep before I tiptoe over to the door, making noise since I have my feels on.

I don't even think about taking them off, it doesn't occur to me, and I shut the door behind me, sneaking down the stairs and into the kitchen.

I walk over to the empty bottles of beer and wine. It looks more like the after affects a teenage party than a small get together with four friends.

I can't believe how much alcohol we've consumed. There's empty three bottles of wine, more than ten beers, plus the tequila that's up stairs. I can't believe somebody didn't pass out earlier.

With a sigh, I begin to put the empty bottles into a garbage bag that I found in one of the many cupboards. The truth is, I would rather be upstairs sleeping right now, but I don't want there to be a mess for Luke when he comes in the morning, and I don't want him to be upset with us.

So I set to work.

_Ding!_

Speak of the devil, I raise my eyebrows, looking at the clock. It's 10:30pm.

"It's sweet of you to come and check on mum." I say with a smile, turning around.

And I'm greeted with wide blue eyes.

"Jess?"


	6. Bridges And Memories

Chapter Six: Bridges And Memories;

"Rory?"

His eyes are wide but I watch as his lips turn up into a smile and my heart skips a beat.

"Jess!"

I can't believe my voice. It's girly. It's happy. I thought when I saw Jess again he'd hate me, and turn the other way after calling me a bunch of perfidious names. Instead, he's here, smiling at me as if we've been best friends for years.

Without even thinking what I'm doing, I launch myself into his arms, holding him tightly. "What are you doing here?!"

"What am I doing here, what are you doing here?"

I can't help myself. I'm happy being here. He's happy with me being here.

"I'm back!"

He breaks our hug and I realise I feel sad about it until he looks me up and down and his eyes grow dark for a moment before going back to normal. "You look good."

I blush from his compliment and suddenly find the urge to spill my beans, like always with Jess. "I quit my job."

His eyes bug from his head. "You quit?"

I shrug my shoulders. "It just wasn't for me any more."

In the year that I haven't seen him, he hasn't changed an enormous amount. His biceps are toned, much larger than they were, and I can see the outline of his abs through his shirt, though I'm trying not to make it too obvious.

His eyes are the same though. Those eyes that gave so much away to me, but nothing to anyone else. He's always been able to communicate to me through his eyes.

"Am I going to have to give you another motivational speech? 'Cause I think the last one kinda did me for a life time." he jokes.

We begin laughing and his eyes crinkle on the sides, just like they always did. I'm glad to know that he hasn't changed as much as he could have.

He's still laughing when I blurt it out. I don't even know what comes over me. Maybe it's the alcohol, or maybe it's the feelings, but I can't stop myself. "I'm glad you're here!"

His laughing ceases, but he's still smiling when he replies. "I'm glad I'm here too."

We drift into an easy silence and I raise my eyebrow. "Why _are_ you here?"

His eyes search mine for what feels like an eternity before he replies, making my stomach have butterflies. "I didn't believe that you were really here."

My eyes widen. "Wait, you knew? How?!"

"I thought I saw you walk in, but than I had to check." he said, laughing at himself in mock.

I can't help myself as I walk back into his arms and hug him tightly. "Well I'm glad you had to come and check, than."

"So why aren't you in Philly?" I ask, batting my eyelashes.

I don't even realise I'm doing it until his cheeks turn a light shade of red and than I cease it immediately. No, this cannot happen again. I won't let this happen again. Jess and I together is bad news, so I will not flirt with him. I refuse!

I watch as he shrugs his shoulders and bites his bottom lip for a moment before he answers. "Oh, I only go there for book-publishing and signing now. I'm in the process of writing another book and I didn't want to stay there to write it. I honestly didn't see the point, despite how much they offered for me to stay at their house."

I nod, telling him to go on, but when he doesn't I ask him another question. "So why Stars Hollow?"

His frown is enough to tell me he thought I knew something, which I obviously don't and I lick my lips.

"Tell me."

"Tell you what?" he asks. It's obvious that I'm talking about why he's in Stars Hollow.

"Tell me what you thought I knew." I whisper, watching his face.

He looks at me in surprise, as if wondering how on earth I knew what he was thinking, but he doesn't ask me and I know he already knows the answer – because I'm Rory, and he's Jess, and he can do the same thing to me. "I live here."

"You live here?" I repeat in disbelief.

Why would Jess Mariano, who has always expressed how much he hates Stars Hollow, move here? It doesn't make sense to me, and I know he knows I don't believe him.

"Yeah." he shrugs his shoulders as if it's a useless piece of information and sighs, putting his hand in his pocket.

* * *

He pulls out his cigarettes, then looks at me and quickly puts them back, without taking one out.

"Go ahead." I nod at him, telling him it's fine. After all, it's his life, not mine. He can do what he wants with it.

His eyes search my face, as if he's wondering if I'm testing him, and then he pulls his pack back out, grabbing a cigarette and his lighter. "Thanks."

We sit in silence for a little while, neither of us taking our eyes off the pond underneath our feet. I knew it was stupid to come here. It's freezing in my tiny dress without any other layers on, and this has always been our spot. When we were dating, when I was dating Dean and we were practically together. It wasn't a good idea coming here.

"Do you really live here?"

I turn my head to look at him as he takes another draw of his cigarette and than buts the dead bits into the pond, like he'd done so many times before. A bunch of memories came rushing back to me from our childhood and I look at him carefully. "Yes."

"Why?" I ask. I chose my question carefully, not sure if I even want to know the answer.

He pauses for a moment and then he looks at me, his eyes catching mine. "You want to know the truth?"

_No_. "Yes."

He bites his lip, but doesn't look away from my eyes and my breathing hitches at his words. "I always hoped that you'd turn up and we'd run into each other again someday. I wanted to see you again."

I don't turn my eyes from his, but the shiver that leaves my body is involuntarily, and he blinks, the spell broken. He puts the cigarette down on the jetty/bridge we're sitting on and shrugs out of his jacket, putting it over my shoulders.

I shake my head and begin to shrug it off when he frowns at me. "Rory. Don't disagree with me. Please. You have three times less layers than I do, you need it."

I shoot him a "thank you" smile and push my arms into his famous denim jacket.

I'm glad he didn't chucked it out. He was always in his denim jacket when we were teenagers, and I am glad to see its still too big for me, making it comfortable and homely. I don't know where the words come from, but I realise I want to know the answer so I don't bother even trying to stop them. "We were in love weren't we?"

He stiffens beside me, and I turn my eyes so that we're looking at each other. He doesn't say anything so I carry on. "We were just children, and the odds were against us, but we were in love, weren't we?"

He picks up his cigarette and takes another drag before blowing out the smoke. "Yes."

"So how's life?" I turn back to the water and try not to let my voice waver from the butterflies that are hitting against my stomach.

"I had a book signing? I was going to invite you but," _the last time you came, you ended up making-out with me and then telling me you were in love with someone else_, I finish for him. "you know, you were in Australia."

My eyes widen with surprise. I hadn't expected that to be the reason, and I knew Jess wouldn't lie to me. That was one of the things I'd always been attracted to about him. He didn't cushion the blow, he dealt it out hard as a rock, and got it over with. "You would've told me! I would have come back for it!"

The words are out of my mouth before I think about it, but it is the truth – I would've come back to it, if he'd told me about it. Because I needed to make things right with him, and I needed to see him.

Even though I'm not looking at him, I can tell he's smiling from his voice. "I know that. It's why I didn't tell you – I didn't want to jeopardise your dream career for a stupid book signing-"

"It's not stupid." I snap at him. "It's _great! _And how did you know I was in Mexico?"

I turn to look at him questioningly and he runs a hand through his perfect hair. I've always been a sucker for his hair. "Oh … I, uh, I subscribed to your online blog."

I don't know if I'm surprised from him knowing how to use a computer, or him subscribing to my writing, but I can feel a blush creep up on my cheeks. "You did?!"

As if he isn't even thinking about his action, his hand comes up and rubs my shoulder in an innocent, friend-like way. "Yes! Of course I did."

My throat closes against his touch and I know I have to change the subject before I get carried away. After all, it's the first night I've seen him in a year, and my hormones are already raging, just because he's touching my shoulder, just like a friend would. "So, do you have a girlfriend?"

He shakes his head and I feel more butterflies join the rest of them. "No … what about What's-His-Name? How's he going?"

I know he knows what his name is, and I sigh. "Logan. Not my boyfriend any more."

"What happened?" he asks and I know he's genuinely interested, he's not just humouring me.

"He proposed," I watch as Jess' eyes get a dangerous glint in them an quickly carry on. "I said no, he said goodbye and I left."

"He _proposed _to you? What was he thinking?! What a fucker."

I can't help myself. I laugh at him, and he snaps back into reality, looking me in the fact with a questioning smile. "That's what you said about Dean."

He rolls his eyes. "Yeah, but now that I think about it, I only hated Dean because he had you and I didn't. He got you and I had to stand back and watch you guys."

My stomach drops, and I try to make a joke out of it. "Like a kid without a lollipop in the sandbox."

He smiles at me and sticks his tongue out, getting to his feet. He offers me a hand. "Come on, I'll walk you back to the diner."

With a shaky breath, I take his hand and he pulls me to my feet. We begin walking, and I realise he hasn't let go of my hand.

There goes those butterflies again.

"I'm glad I saw you." he says, softly. We're out front of the diner and I don't want to wake the others up.

"I'm glad I saw you, too." I smile.

His smile doesn't reach his eyes, but he squeezes my hand and takes a step away from me, walking to the corner.

I watch him go, sighing when I can't see him any more and then turn to the door, trying to find the key, I put my hand in my pocket and then my face falls. Oh, no.

I suddenly take off after him, shrugging the jacket off. I can't hurry after him in my heels, so I take them off and leave them in the middle of the path, starting to run.

"OUCH!"

He looks down at me, startled, and frowns. "What are you doing, you crazy woman?"

I hand him his jacket. "I forgot to give you this."

He looks down at it and then turns back and looks into my eyes. "Keep it until next time."

"_Next time_?" I ask, trying to hide my smile.

He can't hide his either. "Tomorrow. At eight. I'll pick you up from your mother's house, I presume?"

I nod my head, probably a little too eagerly, and he leans forward planting a kiss on my forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow, Nancy."

"Nancy?" I question him, frowning.

He doesn't pause. "Figure it out."


	7. Nancy And Dodger

**A.N/ Hi guys! Thank you so much for all the kind words/all the kind gestures! I feel so happy at the moment so I'm posting this chapter so quickly. This is dedicated to "Jessjunky" . So keep the reviews coming, and I'll post the next chapter a.s.a.p (: x Oh and p.s; the exciting part comes in with the next few chapters so press the review button ! Hehe x**

**Chapter Seven: Nancy and Dodger;**

"Nancy … Nancy." I repeat over and over again until I've got it.

And then it hits me, and I can't believe I didn't figure it out before.

I grab my phone from beside me on the bed and flip up the screen, hoping it won't wake Sookie up from the bright light, which hurts my eyes but I don't mind.

It's 3:30am. I returned inside officially 30 minutes ago, so I know he'll still be up. I flip to his number and pressed the **SEND MESSAGE **button.

Me: '_So you're bringing up the past, Dodger? I can't believe you still remember that!_' I'm tempted to put a smiley face on the end, but in the end I decide against it and press **SEND**.

_Beep!_ There are those butterflies. '_Can't believe it took you so long to figure it out!_'.

Me: '_Excuse me, sir, but are you being mean to me? I might find some way to be busy at 8pm tomorrow night..._'

_Beep! _'_Alright, I'm sorry. :P Loosen up a bit, though, Nancy. I'm off to bed. You should be too. I'll be there at 8 to pick you up. Don't even think about finding something else to do. Goodnight Nancy (:_'

Me: '_I won't, don't worry. Goodnight, Dodger_'. This time I don't even hesitate to add in a smiley-face and press **SEND**. And I go to sleep, with nothing and yet everything on my mind.

When the doorbell rings at 8pm exactly, I am so excited I let out a little squeal as I walk over to the door.

I stop before I open it, my hand on the knob, and take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down.

"You know I can see your shadow through the door, don't you?"

I can't help but laugh as my face turns bright red and I lean up against the door. "No! I totally forgot about that!"

"Well how about you let me in and I'll pretend I didn't see you stop and take a deep breath as if your life depended on how I think you look?"

This only makes my face go redder and I turn away from him, leaning up against the door. "I can't open it now!"

"Oh, come on, Nance."

He can't say this without laughing, and I'm glad I'm not the only one who's laughing themselves silly.

"Nope, sorry." I smile, wickedly.

He doesn't say anything in reply, and I gain my laughter under control. "Just kidding, Dodger! I'll let you in-"

I turn around and wrench the door open and come face to face with … an empty porch?

I eye his car in the driveway behind my own and frown. Where the hell is he? "Dodger?"

"Oh, Nancy, Nancy, Nancy, don't you know _anything_ about locking doors?"

I jump and let out a high-pitched scream as he wraps his arms around me from behind and I accidentally kick him in the shin. "Oh! Shit- sorry!"

He lets go of me and I spin around. "Are you okay?"

Without even pausing he winks at me and makes me blush. "Relax, Nance, nothing can hurt me. I'm Dodger."

We both burst out into another fit of giggles and laughter, and he wraps his arm around my shoulder. "C'mon, we have to go if we're going to get there on time."

"Where's _there_?" I ask, wrapping my arm around his waist as he pulls the front door shut behind us and we walk down the stairs, over the lawn and towards his car.

"The restaurant." he states simply.

I don't look him in the eye. "You made a _reservation_?"

"Don't sound so shocked." he says mockingly.

I laugh slightly. "I'm sorry, but I just … I never thought _you_ would make reservations."

He gives me a disapproving look but doesn't say anything as I burst out into a fit of hysterical giggles.

* * *

"I'll take you home, if you want."

I want to ask him what my other option is, but I know. On the inside, I know what the other option is and I can't hide my longing. "Well … what if I don't want to go home yet?"

His smile shows me that this is what he was hoping to hear. "I'd say where do you want to go?"

"I want to see your house." I say simply, as if it's no big deal.

His pause is long enough for me to wonder if he's going to say no. "Okay."

We pull out onto the road as he begins driving and he looks over at me quickly, pulling back onto the curb.

"What?" I ask, my eyes widening with confusion.

He leans over and I think he's going to kiss me. I hope he's going to kiss me. His lips get close to mine and his body is leaning over mine, but then he pulls back, just as I'm closing my eyes and I snap them open, embarrassed. "Seatbelt."

I snatch it from his hands, shooting him a dirty look. "I can do it."

"Alright, Nancy, no need to get hostile." he jokes, earning another filthy glare from me, but than I can't help myself and I burst out into laughter, my eyes pooling with tears.

"Thank you for dinner. It was wonderful." I say as we stop at a red light, even though the street is empty like most of the time in Stars Hollow.

He doesn't pause. "I'm glad to see you still eat like a troop."

I blush at the thought. In the restaurant, I knew Jess knows my eating patterns, so I ate my own dish and than finished his for him. "I wish I could still keep the weight off."

He looks at my waist and then his eyes travel back to mine. "You're still super skinny."

"I'm a size ten." I murmur under my breath. "I've never been a size ten."

He taps his fingers against the steering wheel. "Well you know what they say about size tens?"

I raise my eyebrows, signalling for him to carry on and he does. "That they're super fucking skinny."

I laugh and close my eyes as the light turns green and we start driving again. This is the reason why I fell in love with him; because he makes me feel like the prettiest girl in the room.

"This is beautiful," I whisper, looking around the house. And I'm being completely honest. "How long have you lived here?"

What I really want to know is how the hell he got the money to pay for this house while he's on a writer's salary, but I don't, since I know I'd be crossing some sort of line that I can't see but know is there.

"Which one do you want me to answer first?"

"Hmm?" I don't take my eyes off the view of Stars Hollow. We're standing in his bedroom, since he dragged me in here to start with, saying that I had to see the best view in Stars Hollow. He was right.

"How long I've been living here, or how I afforded it?" he asks

I bite my lip and frown, turning to look at him. "Did I ask that out loud?"

He shakes his head. "No, I could read it on your face."

I blush and he smiles, answering both questions. "I've been living here for … six, maybe seven months. And I got the house as a gift."

My eyes bug out of my head. "Who gave you a house as a gift?! I obviously need to be-friend them."

He laughs at my obvious joke. "TJ and Mum came into a run-in with some money, so they thought I could use something permanent, instead of living in the dingy Philly apartment with two other guys."

I smile. "Wow."

He watches my face as I turn and look back at the view. "Its beautiful, isn't it?"

I can still feel his eyes on my face, they haven't moved an inch. "Yeah … it is."

My smile reaches my eyes and I look down at the ground and then at him.

He clears his throat, getting caught out, a light blush spreads over his cheeks and then he turns and heads to the door. "Come on, I'll show you the rest of the house."

He gives me a tour, and then the last room is the kitchen, where I fall in love. The whole kitchen is black-marble, accept for the the white cupboards. It's very affective, and I feel the need to be a chef just so I can cook in this massive (and beautiful) kitchen.

The kitchen is probably double the size of our one at home, and I can't help but feel so proud for him. With a beautiful house, he's a published author, and the perfect person.

"Why are you smiling so?"

I lick my lips and look at him. "I'm just really proud of you."

His smile reaches his eyes and he looks down at the ground, clearing his throat as a light blush creeps up his cheeks. "I know I said it before – but it's such a surprise that you came back."

"A surprise?" I press, using my left leg to support all of my weight so I'm leaning towards him rather than away from him.

He doesn't pause for an instant. "A good surprise."

Another smile that makes my stomach clench forms on his lips.

"Good."

I watch out of the corner of my eye as his hands move from behind his back to rest by his sides, and my heart speeds up. If I reach over right now, I could take his hand in mine.

"Rory? Are you okay?"

I blink and turn to look at him. He's watching me with concern etched all over his face and I shake my head. "Sorry, just dazed off for a second."

He laughs and wraps his arm around my shoulders. "Come on, I think I owe you a beer."

"For what?" I ask as he leads me from the lounge-room, where I don't know how I got there, back into the kitchen.

He unwraps himself from me and leaves me at the counter, walking over to the fridge. "For admitting that I was jealous of Dean last night."

"Jealous." I repeat, nodding. "Yeah, I had that with Shane."

His back stiffs, as he stands up straight and turns around, looking me straight in the face, each of his hands clasping a beer.

He hands me one and then takes a step away from me, as if I'll poison him if I touch him.

It hurts but I don't admit it – I know if I do I'll give something away and I don't know what it is I'll give away.

"And now?" he asks as we both unscrew the top of our beers. He chucks the top in the sink and I follow his suit.

I smile, slowly, unsure of myself. "Well, she's not with you any more, is she?"

He pushes his glass to _clink!_ with mine before he takes a sip and then nods slowly. "That's the way I feel about Dean."

And without a second thought, I smile at him and take a sip of my beer.


	8. Coffee And Bookstores

**A.N/ i love you all ~ enough said. c: x**

Chapter Eight: Coffee and Books;

"Coffee!" I groan, my eyes closed.

I know mum's going to be worried about me, but she always does, whenever I stay at Jess' house.

It's been three months since we saw each other in Luke's Diner, and our friendship has formed, stronger than the one before.

We no longer just talk about books, or music or movies. It's all sorts of things. Our past relationships, what we're looking for in the future...

In three months I learnt that Jess would like to get married to the right girl one day, and he'd be happy to have kids if she'd like them, but if not, he's okay with that, too.

He didn't believe me when I said I don't want to plan my pregnancy, that I just want to leave it up to fate. Because apparently I can't do _anything_ without making a plan.

I can hear him laughing at me, but I can't be bothered to open my eyes and look at him. I'm too caught up on how good the coffee table feels when I press my head against it.

"Here you go, Nancy."

He slides the coffee mug into my hands and I pull it to my lips, taking a sip.

With a sigh of relief, I pop one eye open and then the other, watching him watch me.

"You're watching me," I point out.

He blinks. "I know."

"Are you going to stop?"

"I wasn't planning on it."

"Would you stop?"

"Do you want me to?"

I bite my lip and go back to drink my coffee. The truth is, I don't know if I want him to stop watching me. I wish he'd do it at a later time, when I've had a shower and don't look like such a mess, but I can't help it. It feels nice for him to watch me. I find that changing the subject is the safest way to go. "So what are our plans for today?"

He doesn't take his eyes off me. "There's a book market an hour away. I'm taking you down there."

My eyes widen and without another word I grab my nearly-empty coffee, running to his bedroom and grabbing my over-night bag before I run to the bathroom. "Give me twenty minutes!"

I can hear him laughing at me from the lounge-room, but I can't help but shower as fast as I can, not bothering to wash my hair. I _need_ to get to this book market.

* * *

"I'm glad I finally have someone who won't rush me."

I smile over at Jess as we scroll through the books together, and there's _millions_, so I know I'll be here all day at least.

"It only goes for a day." he murmurs, as if reading my mind. I look up into his face from the book I'm thinking about buying and he shrugs. "I can just read you..." he picks up a book and flips it before catching it and putting it back down. "like a book."

It took me 24 minutes total to have a shower, brush my teeth, finish my coffee and get changed into my clothes before I dragged Jess out of his house, taking his keys and running to his car, unlocking it and getting in before he even got to his door.

"Do you have your phone?" I ask as he tries to move on to the next cart but has to stop to wait for me so I don't get lost again.

I don't look up. "You can go, I have mine, I'll just ring you and find out where you are if I can't find you."

I can feel him hesitate, but in the end he turns and walks over to the cart next to me.

I'm still on the same cart when I see it. My breathing stops and my eyes bulge out of my head. This can't be happening. This can't be real.

"JESS!"

Completely forgetting about the phone idea that I came up with and insisted on doing, I turn and run to the next cart, but he's not there. "JESS!"

"RORY?!" he calls out. "RORY!"

I concentrate from where he's yelling and run in that direction, finding him in an instant as he's trying to make his way back to me.

I grip his hoodie as if for dear life and he looks at me with confusion and worry. "Rory? Are you okay? What happened?!"

"I found it!" I squeal.

He frowns. "Found what?"

"Anna Karenina!" I squeal again.

His frown increases. "Rory, you have two copies of that book, you don't need another one-"

I cut him off. "It's the _first edition_."

His eyes bulge out of his head and he grabs my hand, pulling me back in the direction where I'd come from. "Where the hell is this book?"

* * *

We finally find the cart and he picks the book up, looking up at the seller who is watching us carefully, as if we're going to steal the book. "How much do you want for this?"

The man shakes his head. "Sorry, it's not for sale."

A choked sob escapes my throat. How can I be so torn about something that I haven't even had?

"I will give you however much you require. How much would you like?" Jess snaps.

The man blinks, then snaps back. "Someone's already put their name on it. Not for sale."

"No! No! No name! No! Please-" I know I sound desperate, but I can't help it. I _need_ this book. With every fibre of my body.

"Rory, go to the next cart." Jess snaps at me.

I look at him with wide, tear-filled eyes. "What?"

"Go to the next cart, Rory." his voice hasn't got any discussion and I turn, marching off to the next cart, blinking the tears out of my eyes.

I refuse to cry. I will not cry in front of all of these people, no matter how bad I feel.

It feels like an eternity until Jess reaches me, but when he comes I won't look at his face.

"Rory,"

"Why'd you send me away?" I ask.

My voice is tougher than I intended and I instantly feel bad.

"Because he was realising that the book was worth more than he was selling it for. That man knows _noth__ing_ about books. If you'd given it away, he would've charged you _thousands_ for it, instead of a matter of dollars." he says simply.

I keep my eyes glued to my shoes. "What's the difference? I don't get it, anyway."

"Oh, really?"

Something in his voice makes me look up. And there, in his hand, is my book.

I scream. Literally scream. As loud as I possibly could, and than I lunge into his arms, grabbing the book and holding it in between our chests while he hugs me to him.

"Not such a grumpy-bum any more, hey?" he says, mockingly.

I don't reply, I just scream again, not caring that people are turning to look at us.

"Oh my god! Jess _thank you_!"

He smiles down at me and I stand on my tip-toes, kissing his check.

He stiffens slightly but I turn my full attention to the beautiful book I have in my fingertips. There's no way I'm ever letting anybody else touch this … accept for Jess.

"Guess this means you're going on a scavenger hunt for first additions?" he says, joking around.

But I don't take any notice of his joke. "No, I'm happy thanks. You can."

* * *

_Beep! _'Nancy; got a new movie, get your ass over here now.'

Me: 'Now, now, Mr. Dodger, what is a polite way to ask that?'

_Beep! _'If you don't get your ass over here now, I'm starting it without you'.

Me: 'Stop messaging me, I left when I got your first message and I have to keep pulling over to check what you wrote back!'

_Beep!_ 'You had to pull over ONCE to check what I wrote. Don't over exaggerate, Nancy. (;'

I let out a laugh, but don't write back to him, and I arrive at his house in ten minutes.

"Took you long enough," he shoots at me as I walk in the front door.

I lick my lips, walking into his lounge-room. "Yeah, well there was traffic."

"In Stars Hollow?" he raises his eyebrows disbelieving.

I sigh. "Whatever, I got lost."

He laughs at me and pulls me over to the lounge, grabbing the remote and turning it on, all the while pulling me closer so our arms were pressed together.

We were half way into the movie when I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"She's not going to give up on him," I say, knowingly.

"You say that as if you know." he smirks.

I roll my eyes, licking my lips. "I _do_ know."

"I thought you hadn't seen this movie."

I shift uncomfortably, shaking my head. "I haven't."

"Than how do you know?" he challenges, as if it's a normal every day question.

I take a deep breath and try to concentrate on the television. "It doesn't matter how I know, I just do."

"Tell me!" he smiles, his hands digging for my ribs.

"Stop!" I scream, kicking him as he sits on top of me.

"Tell me!"

"GET OFF!" I laugh, tears forming in my eyes.

"Tell me!" he repeats.

I can't hold it in any more. I'm going to wet myself if he doesn't stop tickling me soon. "I know because it's you and me, just in a movie-"

"What do you mean?" he demands, his hands instantly stopping and resting on my ribs.

I shrug my shoulders, trying to keep my breathing under control when I realise he's on top of me. "You're the bad boy. She's the prissy nerd. They get together, he leaves, she can't let go of him."

I see the anger grow in his eyes, and I suddenly realise I've crossed that line. "Why'd you come and see me that night?!"


	9. Fights And MakeUp

Chapter Nine: Fights and Make-Up;

"Why'd you come and see me that night?!" he's not yelling, but his voice is raised and it still brings me to a blunt reality. I have to tell him, the truth, I can't hide it from him any more, no matter how much I want to. "Why did you have to come to my book signing?! You could've just stayed away, and we both could've gotten on with our lives! But instead you come back,"

I can feel the words slipping up my throat, and I realise I don't want to stop them. No matter how he reacts, he has a right to know, and I have a right to tell him.

"you come back and you make me hit rock bottom again! I was getting over you, and then you turned up and let me kiss you! Why would you do that, Ror-"

"BECAUSE I WAS STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU! THAT'S WHY I COULDN'T SAY YES TO LOGAN! THAT'S WHY I FUCKING WENT TO MEXICO AND AUSTRALIA! I NEEDED TO GET AWAY FROM EVERYTHING THAT REMINDED ME OF YOU!"

I can't believe it. Did I really just yell that? No, I couldn't have _yelled_ it, did I? I wish I didn't yell it.

He's glaring at me for yelling at him, and then I watch as the words that have just left my lips register and his face goes blank. While he's staring at me with big eyes and lips that have formed an 'o', I scratch the nail-polish off my thumb, a nervous habit that I can't stop in the best of times.

"Because I was still in love with you." I whisper softly.

I don't know if he'll allow me to do what I want to do, so I cautiously raise my hand up to his face and caress his cheek, finally letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding in when he pushes his head into my hand and I know I've finally got my Jess back. "You okay?"

He doesn't answer me straight away like normal, so my worry and concern increases a little bit until his lips slowly start to move. "I was still in love with you too, you know? That's why it was so hard for me when you turned up there. It was like I was finally getting over you, and then you popped up. I realised that life was too hard for you to _not_ be in my life, not long after you graduated … I'd be walking down a street corner and I'd see a girl and then I'd freak out because I'd see you, but it wasn't really you. And it hurt, every _damn_ day it hurt so bloody bad because all I wanted to do was be .. well, with you."

Tears suddenly form in my eyes and I stand on my tipy-toes, resting my forehead against his and closing my eyes, drops falling down my cheeks. "I miss you, Jess."

He stiffens for a moment, before his arms wrap around my waist and he draws me to him so our whole bodies are pressed against each other.

And suddenly I feel complete. It hasn't been like this, not since I went to his book-signing and messed his life, and my life, up all over again.

I need him, I realise with a start. "I miss you too, Ror."

I don't open my eyes, but I can feel him watching me and his arms tighten around me, his hands gripping the back of my shirt as if for dear life, no doubt crinkling them to the extent where I'll have to iron it for a few days.

"I think I was shocked … I know how much I hurt you, now." I look at him quizzically and than it dawns on me; he's left me, and I've left him.

"At least I said goodbye." I tease. If I were further away, I would stick my tongue out at him, but since our faces are practically stuck together, I don't think he wants me to run my tongue down his chin.

His laugh fills the air, but it's uncertain. He doesn't know if I'm still upset over it, and without thinking, I press my lips to his in a quick kiss, signalling for him that it's okay.

Well, what I intended to be a quick kiss. Quite frankly, when I put my lips to his the electricity that shoots between us is enough to make me wrap my arms around his neck, all the while he tries to pull me closer.

As our tongues clash together, his hands slide down to my thighs and he quickly pulls, letting me wrap my legs around his waist, and for once, be taller than him.

"Rory..." he groans slowly when he pulls away, and when I open my eyes, his are on mine, giving me a look I've seen a million times, but have never realised what it is.

This time it's unmistakable and I push my lips back on his, kissing him for what feels like forever, but I know it's only a matter of minutes. When he pulls back for a second time, I can feel what I'm doing to him from where I'm positioned on his body, and he bites his bottom lip, sending another wave of hormones over me. "Rory. Do you want me to stop?"

I give him an 'are-you-crazy?!' look and try to get his lips on mine again, but he shakes his head. "Rory, you have to tell me. Yes or no, do you want me to stop."

"No." I say, and then I blink. Was that my voice? It couldn't have been, all husky and low.

From the way his eyes light up, he's heard my tone too, and soon he's pushing his lips back against mine.

I don't know where we're going, but I can feel him walking underneath me and when he turns around and sits down, I realise we're in his bedroom, he's sitting on his bed, and I'm straddling him like I've always wanted to.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asks when I pull back, trying to get my breathing back into a rhythm.

"Jess, I'm sure."

He takes his hands off my waist, his eyes never leaving mine, and finds the hem of my shirt, pulling it up ever so slowly, inch-by-inch until I'm sitting there, in my bra and jeans, on his lap, facing him.

I thought my cheeks would go red, but they haven't, and I realise, with a start, that I'm not nervous or embarrassed.

Jess is Jess – the person he's always been for me. I don't worry about the fact that my stomach is probably hanging over the edge of my jeans, or that it's gotten bigger since the last time he saw it bear. I'm just completely happy.

Kissing Jess is like having a fire lighten inside of you. It just makes you want to explode. He's an _amazing_ kisser.

I do the same to him, pulling his shirt up and off, throwing it over my shoulder but with a lot less grace than he had. I guess he's had more experience.

The thought makes me cringe, but he doesn't seem to notice since the next minute, his mouth is back on mine, making me forget about everything that had been going through my head.

I pulled back and hear him groan against my lip as he pushes up into me, the friction of our jeans rubbing together. I put my hands on his shoulders, my fingernails digging into his back, and close my eyes as his lips find my neck. We're still sitting, with me on his lap, giving him easy access to me … if our jeans weren't still on. "Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think we're meant to be wearing _pants_, if we want to do this.

I can feel his laugh against my neck as he pauses, and then he becomes serious, his hands travelling from the small of my back down to the front of my waist, pulling the button and sliding down the zip.

My breath catches in my throat. This has to be the most erotic moment of my entire life. It was _never_ like this with Dean or Logan, and we haven't even had sex yet. Jess makes me feel things that nobody has ever made me feel before.

He doesn't try to take my pants off, instead he slides his hands back to my behind again and stands up somehow, causing me to question how much time he's spent in the gym over the last year since I've seen him.

I'd noticed that his abs had gotten more toned, but I hadn't even realised how big the muscles in his arms were. I guess I was just focussing on _Jess_, the person, not Jess, the beautiful completely without a doubt, sexiest guy I've ever see.

Slowly he puts me down so my feet are on the floor, and then he sticks his thumbs through the waist-band of my jeans, his eyes never leaving mine as he sinks to his knees of the floor, pulling me jeans with him.

He stands up after pulling the off and I do the same to him, "accidentally" taking more time with is zipper and crotch than needed.

As he lays on top of me, my bra and panties disappear, and I wrap my arms around the small of his waist as he leans on his elbows to keep his weight off me.

And then it happens – and I feel him inside of me, making me gasp and my lips form an 'o' that nobody could stop.

_Oh my dear God._

He lets out a groan telling me he feels the same way and then pushes into my again. Forgetting about his weight, which I can hardly feel to begin with, from all the excitement, his hands come up and entwine with mine, making me smile on the inside.

And then I figure it out; this isn't having sex … this is making love.

He pushes into me and I let out a groan, squeezing his hands tightly, again and again, time after time.

* * *

We're both staring at the ceiling, and I can't speak for Jess but I'm completely at peace with the world. It's like my life is finally starting to come together.

His got his arm wrapped around my shoulders and my left arm is lying in a weird position so it's on his chest. I know, if it was with anyone else, my arm would be uncomfortable, but with Jess, I don't even mind.

We've got the sheet pulled up so it's covering all of my privates, but still hangs loosely around his waist. He's obviously much more comfortable with his body than I am, even though minutes before I'd been totally comfortable.

"Jess?"

He lets out a small uncomplicated sound, but I know it's meant to be a yes. "Mmm?"

"I think I-"

He cuts me off, as if he's sensing I'm about to say I think I should leave. The words that leave his mouth are something I _never_ thought I'd hear again, but it was something that hit me like a title wave of emotions. "I still love you, Rory."

I stay silent for a minute, staring at the white ceiling. "I love you, too."

"You do?"

I nod my head and roll over so I'm laying on my stomach and looking up at him. He moves so he's stroking the small of my back, that's been uncovered from the roll over and he blinks, watching my eyes as if he's reading my soul. "What were you going to say?"

I smile at him playfully. _What the hell_? I murmur. I thought I'd loose my game if I didn't say it before, but I was wrong – I could still tell him the truth. "I was gonna say I can't believe_ that's_ what I've been missing out on. If I knew it was gonna be that good, let's just say I would've kissed you a _looooooooong_ time ago."

He smiles down at me, kisses my lips sleepily and then pulls back so he's looking at me once again. "I feel the exact same way."


	10. Dizzy Spills And Falls Over

Chapter Ten: Dizzy Spills and Fall Overs;

I can't believe myself.

This is so stupid. But I'm nervous.

I've been friends with this man for three months, and I can't even bare to ring the doorbell.

I chastise myself. I've been friends with Jess _forever_, not three fucking months. The little voice in my mind takes over, _But he's not just your friend any more. You guys had sex._

"Are you going to stand out there all day or are you going to come inside?"

I jump and look around for him, but when I can't find him I frown. My imagination is running while again. I hate it when it does that.

"You're not imagining things and you're _not_ stupid, so stop saying that. I'm on the balcony."

My head snaps up too fast and I get dizzy, stumbling and loosing my footing.

"RORY!"

My ass lands on the grass before I even know what's going on, and then I'm laughing my head off, laying back on his lawn, my eyes closed, facing the sky.

"RORY! ARE YOU OKAY?!"

I peek one of my eyes open and am shocked. "How'd you get down here so fast?!"

"I ran, you nut-bag." he murmurs, giving me an 'Are-You-Okay' look.

I answer his unasked question. "I'm fine, relax. I just got a head-rush."

"Some bloody head-rush." he snaps back, his eyes narrowing at me.

I know this. The way he's acting. I know what he's doing.

I put my hand on his cheek and watch as his act falters with my words. "Jess, I'm _okay_. I promise. I'm fine. I just fell over."

"Well thank the lord I have grass instead of gravel." he growls, his eyes narrowing at the footpath I'd just fallen off.

I sigh on the inside. He's always been protective of me, but now it's the footpath's fault because I got dizzy and fell over. "Don't you think you're going a little bit over-board with the whole 'Have To Protect Rory' thing? You're like my father."

His mouth forms a straight line, but I can see the humour twinkling in his eyes. "Like your father, hey?"

I smile, nodding. "The one and only."

"Until Luke and your mum get married." he looks at me, carefully, waiting for my reaction.

I roll my eyes. They've got to be kidding me, here. "You can ring Luke and tell him I didn't suspect a thing. Tell him I'm very happy to have him in my family. Tell him I already feel like he is."

Jess' face is a mixture of amusement and relief. What did he think? That as soon as he mentioned Luke I'd go off into a major bitching session?

"Come on," he puts his hands under my arms and pulls me to my feet. "I've made you lunch."

I smile at him and take his hand in mine. "Oh, what a good wife you are!"

"Wife? Please, I'm your husband, woman." he plays along.

"You wish." I stick my tongue out at him.

All of the playfulness and joking drops from his voice and he looks me straight in the eye. "Yes, I do."

My stomach fills with butterflies and I blush, my eyes dropping to the floor as I lean against the bench in the kitchen.

"Relax, baby, I won't propose for a while."

When I turn my eyes up to look at him, my mouth formed in an 'o', he winks at me and then turns his back on me and goes rummaging through the fridge, as if what he just said to me isn't the best news I've ever heard.

Not the 'I Won't Propose For A While' part, but the fact that he's talking about proposing with such ease, no worry in his mind.

He grabs two plates with cling wrap over them and puts them in the microwave. "I hope you don't mind if they're warmed up … but I had a stroke of chefness last night, so I cooked then."

I smile at him and then his sentence registers. "Hey, Jess?"

"Yeah?" he asks.

He's standing a foot in front of me. "What the hell is _chefness_?"

A smile appears on his laugh and we break out into a fit of laughter that makes my stomach hurt and lasts long after the microwave starts to beep, telling us one of the meals are heated up.

He pulls me up to him and wraps his arms around the small of my back, hugging me tightly. When he pulls back, I put my hands on either side of his face and look him in the eyes. He's opened up today with the whole proposal thing, so I might as well open up, too.

"I want to be with you when we're eighty-nine years old, with grey hair and we're trapped in rocking-chairs." I whisper, my eyes searching his. "I want you to never leave me again."

"Don't you worry your pretty little mind." he smiles at me, rubbing his nose against my own. "I'm not going anywhere for a long, _long_ time. And even then, you'll be coming with me."

My hands slide down so that they're around neck, tickling the little hairs on the back of his neck. "I'm never worried when I'm with you. I trust you … completely."

"Oh, really?" he asks, his tone changing.

I smile at him as he brings his lips down on mine, and my hands get tangled in his hair after he pulls back. "Yes, really."

"How hungry are you?" he asks.

I don't know if there's meant to be a hidden question in that, but I can't help it. I'm a Gilmore, after all. "Do you really need to ask that."

He laughs and lets me go, walking back to the microwave. "You're right … your mother's daughter completely."

I watch as he moves, graceful as ever.

He's wearing black jeans with white socks and a black singlet. His pale skin is practically fluorescent against his clothes, and I can't help but feel wildly attracted to him. He's so perfect.

He hands me the plate and a knife and fork, and then leads me into the lounge-room, turning on the television.

We're practically sitting on top of each other, or as close to it as you could be.

"This is delicious." I smile up at him.

He smiles down at me, kissing my lips quickly. "Thanks."

We turn our attention back to the television, but I can't help but lean my head into his shoulder.


	11. Old Ghosts

Chapter Eleven: Old Ghosts;

"Rory!"

I can't help but smile at the sound. He's excited. Something good happened in his day.

I look up from the pile of books I'm meant to be putting back on the shelves, but have so far found more enjoyment out of reading, and stand up, nearly flying backwards when he gave me a quick peck. "What?"

I've gotten a job at the local book-store and since I know the owner, he's left me in charge … of no one. That's right, I'm keeping myself company, every day of the week.

"They want me!"

I try to make sense of his short comment, but when nothing adds up, I wait for more.

"This is my dream!" he exclaims.

I put my hands on his cheeks, smiling. "Okay, breathe. Breathe."

Once he's breathing is under control, I can't help but smile at how adorable he is. He's gorgeous, like a four-year-old. I can't help but think of him as a teenager.

He smells the same way he did back then; of cigarettes, coffee and aftershave. "Now tell me."

"They want me." he repeats again.

I look straight into his face, a laugh leaving my lips. "Who do?"

"That publishing company! They want me to go over and be head of their company for them while the normal one is away!"

I can't believe it. This is it; this is his dream. To run a publishing business of his own? I thought his dream was to write a book.

I choose not to rub that in his face and smile, rubbing cheeks. "Oh, baby! That's great!"

"It's for five years." he says, his excitement still etched on his face.

My eyes bulge. "Where is he going, France?"

He laughs suddenly. "No! That would only take him a few hours to get to!"

Then it hits me; this isn't a local job. "Jess?"

"Mmm?"

I try to chose my wording carefully. I don't want to hurt him, or his _dream_, but I need to know. "Where is this job?"

"IRELAND!" he exclaims.

I swear he's actually jumping in excitement. But I can't help it. I can't share his excitement.

He doesn't take any notice in my reaction, he's too caught up in the fact that they've offered him his supposed 'Dream Job' and he gives me another quick kiss before he tells me he has to leave and tell Luke.

I don't realise he's gone for another thirty minutes. I'm still frozen in the same spot, still stuck looking at the door where he'd disappeared from.

* * *

"I'm sorry I didn't get any more done, Terry."

Terry asks me if I'm okay, and I reassure him, yet again, but even I can hear my voice, and I'm not convincing at all. Because the truth is, I don't know if I'm okay.

I walk slowly back to our house, keeping my eyes on the ground. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I know it's not meant to be like this.

"Rory?"

I turn and look quickly, turning my eyes away before taking a double-take. "Dean?"

He breaks out into a full smile and holds his hands out to me, holding me tightly. "How are you, stranger?"

A little piece of my heart breaks. A little piece of me wishes that I'd been able to work things out with Dean. Uncomplicated, Dean who would never hurt me in a million years. "I'm doing okay."

Without the slightest bit of judgement, he pushes me back so he can look at my face. "Rory?"

"Mmm?" I whisper, looking into his face.

He licks his lips, signalling me to do it, too. "Want to tell me the truth now?"

This is my undoing, and my tears start to fall, rolling down my neck onto my t-shirt.

He pulls me back into his arms and his hand slides up to my hair, rocking me slightly, but making me feel completely and utterly safe.

I pull back, shaking my head and wiping my face with my sleeve. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be crying on you."

His face is still the same; still kind and caring. "Hey, Rory, I've been through it before, no need to worry."

He makes me laugh, and soon he's joined in, but it's short lived, and he looks up and down the street, as if wondering which path to take. "So, I know this is a bit of a stupid question, but do you wanna go and get some coffee?"

I try not to laugh as I nod my head, but fail miserably, and he wraps his arm around my shoulders.

I know I shouldn't do it, but I wrap my arm around his waist anyway. Not because I think Dean and I will get back together, but because it feels so nice to be with him. It always has.

We walk down the street, arm in arm, making small talk that's peaceful and simple.

"To Luke's or-"

I cut him off immediately. There's no way in hell I'm going to Luke's Diner and risking him see me with Dean, even if it is totally and completely innocent. "What about my house?"

His eyebrows raise, but he nods and we walk slowly in the direction of the house.

* * *

"From the way you described it, I thought they'd ruined your house! It looks exactly the same!"

He's laughing at me from across the table, but I don't mind because it's nice to be teased by him every now and then.

I shrug my shoulders and take a sip from my mug. "What can I say? I was a drama-queen when I was younger."

His eyes explore my face. "Are you sure you're not still one?"

I can hear the joke hinting in his voice, and I play along. "I don't know, what do you think, giant?"

He smiles at me and runs a hand through his dark hair, not taking his eyes off of mine. "So hows your life going? Last I heard you were in Australia."

I throw my hands up in the air. "Does everyone in this crazy tow know my personal business."

He smiles down at the table, as if a little sheepishly. "No … I know because I ask Loralie about you when I see her."

My heart skips a beat and I look him straight in the eyes, all humour gone. "You do?"

"Yeah." his voice mirrors mine, and I know I'm blushing.

"Well, my life's good. I got a job down at the book store with Terry." I smile.

His face lights up and he licks his lips. "Well that's a job I can see you sticking with forever."

"If I stay in Stars Hollow." I murmur, looking down into my coffee cup.

His voice wavers slightly. "Planning on going somewhere?"

I turn my eyes back to his. "I thought I was."

"What happened?" he asks slowly, as if he's unsure he wants the answer.

I know I shouldn't tell him, but the words slip out before I can stop them. "I saw an old _friend_ on the side of the street and he came over for coffee."

This time, I'm not the one blushing, and he bites his bottom lip, reminding me of Jess. "You won't leave Stars Hollow … whether you want to travel or not, something always brings you back here. The truth is, this is your home, and you don't feel complete when you're not here. You won't be able to handle being away."

His words hit home and I realise that they're all true, and I know what I have to do.

Dean and I don't kiss that night. He thanks me for the coffee and promises to call me so we can catch up, and I smile and hug him tightly for more time than normal before I let him go.

He shoots me one last smile before he disappears out the back door and I watch him until he disappears from my sight completely before I turn and go out the front door, heading straight for my car.

* * *

When I pull up at Jess' house, I've been out of work for 4 hours, three and a half of those spent with Dean.

I'm not going to tell him where I've been, because the thought of that is stupid and will only cause a fight that I know won't get resolved.

He won't understand why I invited Dean back to my house, no matter how much I try and explain.

When he opens the door, he looks concerned and when he sees me it totally disappears. "Oh, Jesus, Rory! Do you know how worried I've been about you?! Why didn't you answer your bloody phone."

_My phone_. I don't even know where my phone is. Then I feel it vibrate and pull it out of my pocket, looking at the number I know off by heart.

Jess watches me in confusion while I flip my phone up and answer it. "Hey!"

"Hey, Rory. Sorry for calling so soon … but I needed to hear your voice."

I lick my lips. This isn't a good situation. "I know it's a lot to ask, but could you call me back in like an hour?"

He pauses for a moment. "Yeah, sure."

"Thank you." I whisper, and then close it, hanging up on Dean.

Jess is still watching me. "Who was that?"

I lick my lips. "It doesn't matter."

From his tone of voice, I know he knows exactly who it is, so why should I bother answering.

"Who was on the phone, Rory?"

"Who do you think?!" I snap back at him, my eyes brimming with tears.

"Why were you with him?" he asks.

I can't believe it. He's questioning my motives for having a friend. "Because he's a friend."

"A friend who you fucked." he snaps.

I glare at him. "Well if that rule applies, I guess you're not friends with half of the female population."

His eyes glow with anger. "I told you I made mistakes. You don't get to use that against me."

"I don't want to fight." I say suddenly. "I need to talk about Ireland."

Instantly his mood lightens. When he sees my face, he frowns slightly. "What's wrong?"

"Where do I fit into it?" I whisper, my eyes opening wide.

His eyes match my own. "Well … everywhere."

"What does that mean?"

He doesn't hesitate. "It means we'll go to Ireland, and find a nice little house over there-"

"No."

His face comes up blank. "What?"

"No … I'm not going to Ireland with you, Jess." I whisper.


	12. Last Kiss

Chapter Thirteen: Last Kiss;

"Why?"

I can hear the heart break in his voice and my stomach clamps on me. I'm the worst person in the world and I know it. "Because this is my home, Jess. I'm not leaving for five years."

"But … you and me, we'd be together."

I lick my lips. "That sounds wonderful-"

"Then what's the problem?! If I love you and you love me?!" he snaps, a defence mechanism for the pain I'm putting him through.

I put my hands on his cheeks, and will him to understand with my eyes. "Jess, I love you. But sometimes, love isn't enough. I'm not willing to leave my life behind."

His eyes narrow. "You did it for your career."

"And it got too much for me and I had to quit and come back! I'm not made to travel around the big world without my mother. I can't leave her again. I won't do it-"

"You're choosing your mother over me?" his eyes grow wide. "Are you sure it's not _him_?"

I sigh. "Jess, I ran into Dean when I was walking to my car. Nothing happened, and nothing is going to happen. I love _you. _But I can't leave."

"You said that already."

My breathing hitches. "Jess,"

"Rory, I love you. I need you in my life, you're the only thing that keeps my heart beating. But I can't give up this job." he says, his eyes searching mine.

I bite my lip. "I don't expect you to."

Suddenly realisation dawns on him and he shakes his head, taking a step out of my reach, out of my arms, backing up against the kitchen bench. "No. No. No. No. No."

"Jess-"

"NO! You promised you wouldn't do this again! You promised you wouldn't leave me again." his voice is barely more than a whisper, but the pain it holds is enough to fill the room.

"Jess! Look at me!"

Finally his eyes turn to look at me and I try to make him understand. "I love you-"

"Than come with me!"

It hits me; it's either go with him, and lose my mother. Or stay here; and lose him.

"I can't."

"You lied, didn't you? You never loved me. It was all just some sick joke."

"How could you say that?! Of course I love you! You're the best thing that's ever happened to me!"

He doesn't say another word and I walk over to him, standing right in front of him.

"You need to go, Rory."

My heart stops beating. "What?"

"You need to go … I can't be around you. My hearts breaking and I can't let you see me like this-"

I pause. "No, Jess, I don't mind. I can help you through this-"

"I want you to leave, Rory!" he snaps. "I_ want _you to leave!"

My eyes begin to water. "No you don't."

He scoffs at me. "Yes I do."

I don't move my eyes from his. "No, you don't."

"Than why would I tell you?" he whispers. "Why would I tell you to get out of my house if I didn't want you to go-"

"Because you love me, too." I shoot at him, knowing I'm speaking the truth. "Because it's too painful for you to hear me say I can't go with you."

He glowers at me, and for the first time, I'm scared. Not of what he'll do, but of what he'll say, and what extents he'll go to to make me get out of his sight.

"Rory, if you don't fucking leave, I will drag you out by your hair."

My eyes narrow. "So this is how you want to leave it than?"

His laugh in return is enough to break my heart. "This is how _I_ want to leave it? Oh, no, no, no. You don't get to turn this around on me, love. You're the one who's breaking _my_ heart and leaving_ me_."

"I'm not leaving you!" I yell at him, tears threatening to pour from my eyes. I try to blink them away, but they only fall rapidly down my cheeks. "I'm just not giving myself up to be with you!"

"WHAT'S THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE?!"

I want to scream at him and ask him when his mouth got so dirty, but instead I stand there, like a shocked mullet, and let my tears hit the floor beneath me.

His voice is little more than a whisper when he speaks again. "Get out, Rory."

I want to scream back at him. I want him to yell at me, so I can yell back, and I know we'll be able to make it through this. But I can't. I can't do anything but obey him. This is his house, and I have no right to be here. Not any more.

I broke him, I realise as I walk towards the door. I turn around, my hand on the handle, and look at him.

He's still n the same spot, his whole body frighteningly still, like he's made out of wax and this is a museum … a very sad, very hurtful museum that people would leave the moment they got here if they were to walk in.

I wonder what people would think if they saw this scene. Would they hate me? Would they blame my run in with Dean? Is it even Dean's fault?

I scold myself. Dean did nothing wrong. All he did was bring thoughts that were in the back of my mind to the front of it. I can't hate him for that – and neither can any one else.

No, if somebody was looking at this scene, they'd see a girl, tears falling freely down her face, and a boy who's hear she'd just broken. My stomach clenches, and I wonder if it will ever go back to normal. I've broken him. Jess isn't Jess. I promised him I wouldn't leave him, and yet here I was doing it all over again.

I feel guilty. I feel horrible. I feel dirty and I feel disgusted with myself.

I don't bother grabbing my coat from his couch, in fact even though I can see it in my peripheral vision, but I don't even make a move towards it. I deserve to freeze. I deserve the cold to seep into my body and make me want to die. Accept I don't need to cold to make me want to die – I'm already numb. Numb from hurting the man I love so.

I can't believe it. I don't even know _why_ I did it … the choice of living with Jess is always appealing to me, but the thought of losing time with my mother to accomplish that leaves my heart hurting even more than it already is.

I realise, with a start, that I'm still standing in his doorway, my hand on the knob. Slowly, I turn and pull it. Before I pull it shut behind me, I look at him one last time. "I will always love you, Jess. No matter what I say. No matter what I do. I always have, and I always will."

He shudders, but I can't help feeling a little bit of relief – he's moved, that's better than him belonging in a wax museum.

I walk down the small pathway and to my car where it's sitting, waiting patiently and faithfully for me in the driveway.

But when I sit in it I feel wrong. This isn't right. I'm not meant to be pulling away from Jess' house with tears streaming down my face.

And Jess is meant to be in the car with me. It feels tainted somehow. It's like every memory of the last three months, sitting in this car has been with Jess. And now I've hurt him again.

I can't believe I just did that to him. He's right – I promised I wouldn't leave him again, and here I am, breaking the promise.

But I didn't lie. I never lied; I love Jess with all my heart, and I know it's never going to change, no matter if I'm with him or not.

* * *

As I drive away from his house, tears falling and making mascara marks down my cheeks and staining my favourite light-blue blouse, a thought crosses my mind and I have to pull to the curb.

My breathing ceases and I sit, staring at the window in panic.

_I've pushed him too far. We've had our last kiss_.

And a new wave of tears washes over me.


	13. Feet Down Head Up

Chapter Forteen: Feet Down Head Up:

Luke/Loralie P.O.V:

"Where's Rory?"

The look on Loralie's face is enough to tell him she's in her room, and he glowers at the table.

With much more force than he intends, he slams his mug of hot coffee down on their kitchen table, making his soon-to-be-wife jump five feet in the air.

He doesn't shoot her his usual "I'm Sorry" smile like he does when he scares her. He can't, not at this moment any way.

Luke stands up from his chair. He's threatened Jess time and time a-fucking-gain that if he hurts Rory, he'll be paying with his blood. And this time Luke is sticking to the threat.

He's never seen someone so torn up over a break up. The little time Rory spent outside of the house was either at Lane's, or Sookie's with her mother. The only time she left apart from that was to go and get food to survive, or work. They were her only appearances and he was fed to the bone.

Luke doesn't care that he isn't having sex with Loralie because Rory is in the house. As a matter of fact, that isn't the case at all and their sex life is still strong and going hard. But he can't stand to see Rory – such a strong girl that he's taken care of for her whole life – break down because of some stupid little creep who's broken her heart too many times.

"Luke?"

He looks down at Loralie, who's giving him a questioning glance. She has no idea what's going on inside his head, and he's glad, because he knows if she did, she wouldn't let him out of the house … she wouldn't let him call Jess, either. "I'm going to fix this."

A long sigh leaves her lips and he can't help it. He's always affected by her, but today he doesn't show it. He _can't_ show it, or he'll lose his nerve and he'll never be able to help Rory. He _needs_ to help Rory. "I don't think you can, babe. They're adults now. They've got to work this out for themselves. And you know Rory and Jess and how their whole relationship works. They've always been like this-"

"And they've broken up_ too many times_." he points to Rory's bedroom door which is closed and, undoubtedly, locked. "I've seen that girl- _my girl_- go through too much pain because of this little fucker. He's not going to hurt her again, I'm going to fix this."

Loralie's eyes are wide, as if she's never heard him swear before. "But, Luke, you don't even know what happened, or why they broke up."

He knows this. He knows that he doesn't know why they broke up. And that angers him even more, because that means he can't go over, break into his apartment and strangle the little fucker while he sleeps "safely" in his bed. But whatever the reason, he's sure it was Jess' fault, like every time before. He can honestly say he doesn't give a shit what the reason is, he's going to make it better. Not for Jess. He doesn't think Jess deserves Rory. Nobody deserves Rory. But because Rory is, for some unexplained reason, in love with Jess and it's obvious. "I don't care why they broke up, I'm going to fix it."

The tone of finality in his voice is enough to squeeze Loralie's heart and she sits there, proudly, looking up at the man she knows she'll spend the rest of her life with.

She's gone through a lot with Luke, and she knows the drama will probably never stop. But, even with the drama, she's never felt this strongly about anyone, and she can't picture her life without him. The thought pains her, and she always has to stop before she thinks about what she's going to do if he dies before her. "Well what are you going to do? What's the plan, captain?"

He searches her face, as if looking for the answer. And then he gets it, as if it's written across her face in permanent marker.

It's like a light-bulb turns on inside his head, and you can see his features instantly lighten. He's got it.

He doesn't say another word to her as he strolls out of the room and into Rory's, surprised by the fact that it was unlocked.

Loralie doesn't move from her position at the table, but she can hear the conversation displayed before her clear as day.

"Luke, what is it?"

He clears his throat uncomfortably. "Listen, Rory, I need you to do me a massive favour."

"Anything, just ask."

_Where's he going with this_? Loralie thinks to herself. "I need you to take over the diner for the night shift. I'm taking your mother out for dinner and I don't have anyone to work for me."

"What about Ceaser?" she asks, a little too quickly.

"He's going to see his mother."

Loralie knows this is a lie, but she stays silent from her spot, still listening.

"Oh … um … what time would it be?"

He coughs again. "6 until closing."

"Um … yeah, I could do that."

Little more words are mumbled between the two of them, than Luke comes back out, shutting the door behind himself. He grabs the phone off the kitchen table and dials one of the only numbers he knows. "Jess?"

And Loralie listens as the love of her life has the exact same conversation, only changing little bits of information here and there so it makes sense.

RPOV

"Sorry that you have to do this."

I roll my eyes at Luke as he apologises for the fourteenth hundredth time. He obviously didn't get it when I said it was fine the first billion times. "Luke, I honestly don't mind. It'll be fun. I'll get to catch up on all the gossip and I'll get to work so it will take my mind off things."

Luke and Loralie trail on either side of Rory, walking her to work, both of them knowing what the plan is. They told Jess to get there 30 minutes before them, so he'll be about ten minutes in front. They told him to wait up in the apartment, and that they'd go up and see him before the shift.

Loralie was so proud when Luke had told her the plan. For once, she didn't feel like the crazy person in the relationship, and that was new for all aspects of her life.

"Ready to work, kiddo?"

I look up at the diner. Am I ready to work? While I've been working at the book-store, hardly anybody comes in so I don't have to deal with the Stars Hollow gossip that I know has been following me and Jess, as well as me and Dean, since someone saw us walking down the street. Miss Patty, no doubt. "Yes."

The conviction in my voice is enough, and I know on the inside I am. I _have_ to do something or I won't be able to do anything social for the rest of my life.

Since Jess and I broke up, I've been spending most of my time at home, in my bed. I don't like to go out any more, since every little thing reminds me of him and I burst out into tears in the most inappropriate places.

Luke leads the way and to the stairs. I don't even notice that the diner is empty, which is weird on a Saturday … actually it's weird on all days.

"I just have to grab a few things from the apartment. Rory, could you help me?"

There's something in his tone, but I don't pick up on it, and I follow Luke up the stairs.

He pulls the door open and signals for me to walk in front of him. "Ladies first."

"Such a gentleman." I tease, sticking my tongue out.

One of the doors in the apartment open and I freeze. Who the hell is in the apartment? "About bloody time you got here!"

I know the voice better than any other, and when he walks into vision, he's got no shirt on, his hair is all wet and messed up, and his tracksuit pants are hanging a little too low for me to be able to think.

"Luke!" we growl at the same time.

And then the door slams shut and I'm left in the apartment alone with Jess.


	14. Back To December

Chapter Fifteen: Back To December:

_This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't be happening_. No matter how many times I repeat it in my mind, I know it is, and I still can't stop myself from thinking it again and again.

"Luke! Let. Me. Out." Jess' voice is low and murderous, and I know if I were Luke right now, I would cave so easily he could call me Judy.

It takes him a few moments to find the right words, but when he gets them his voice is strong and confident, as if he knows the consequences of his actions. "I can't do that, Jess. You and Rory have to talk. It's been a month."

On the inside my stomach clamps even tighter. It's been like this for a month; every time I get reminded of Jess or our breakup, it's straight back to square one. I was finally getting some relief.

"Let me out, Luke!" Jess yells.

I watch him, not saying a word, my eyes wide, as he tries to get out of the apartment. But it's no use. Luke has locked it from the outside, and once locked from out there, it's impossible to unlock from the inside.

I curse under my breath. Why didn't Luke get the stupid locks changed to something that wasn't from a million years ago?!

"Is it so bad to be locked in here with me?"

My words are out of my mouth before I think about their consequences. _Why_ did I say that to him? I don't know, but it's obvious from the way he stills that he heard the pain in my voice.

Slowly he turns to look at me, and his eyes are wide.

_He's not angry_, I murmur to myself as realisation hits me, _he's scared_.

He's scared I'm going to hurt him again. He's scared that he's going to do something stupid while we're in the same space. He's scared that he's going to ask me to come with him again, and ruin everything that we could sort out.

"Rory ..." his voice is little more than a whisper, but it's enough to make the back of my eyes sting with tears I didn't know I had any more. "I can't."

I bite my bottom lip. "I know this is painful for you-"

"_Painful_?" his voice in a venomous hiss, and I feel like I've been stabbed. I never expected him to sound like that to me. He laughs in mock. "No, Rory, this isn't _painful_, this is excruciating."

I hear the shuffles from outside the door and I know Luke and mum have figured out it's time to leave and that we need our space. "I'm sorry."

"I don't need you to be sorry! I need you to come with me-"

"JESS I CANT COME WITH YOU-"

"WHY NOT?!"

"BECAUSE I'M SCARED AS FUCK THAT YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR MIND AGAIN!"

He's mouth is open. He was ready to scream back at me. But his comeback runs short and his eyes grow wide. "What?"

_Where did that come from? _I think to myself, but it's too late to take back the words, and I know on some level they must be true.

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't want to go to Ireland. I don't want to leave my whole life behind for something that you might change your mind on again."

"I won't change my mind, Rory."

I take a deep breath. I thought we'd have a screaming match, not a heart-to-heart. "You promised me that before."

His face showers with remorse and I shake my head. This _isn't_ what I was here for. I was here to run a stupid diner. But obviously that was all a lie.

"Did they tell you that you were meant to be covering the diner, too?" I ask before he has the chance to reply to my comment.

The fact is it wasn't fair for me to throw that out there. We've both made mistakes, and he's paid for his time and time again, while I'm still paying for mine.

"Yes," he scoffs, "I guess I should've seen it coming."

I walk over to the kitchen and can feel his eyes on me the whole way.

"What are you doing?"

I don't turn to look at him, instead I pull the fridge open and bend down, examining it's contents. "Well, they left us here. So I imagine we'll be here for a while. And I don't know about you, but I could really use a drink right now."

"Hallelujah."

I don't know if that's meant to be sarcastic or not, but I don't care. I don't want to be here. This isn't just hurting him. "Do you want one or not?"

"You didn't get my point of Hallelujah?" he murmurs. "What is there?"

I pull out the two bottles, holding each of them up in one hand. "We have orange juice … or diet-soda."

It's obvious that neither of them take his fancy, but we end up choosing the soda and he grabs the glasses while I bring the bottle to the table.

We stay silent for a long time … I don't know it's been a few minutes or an hour, but time seems to drag on and mum and Luke are still not back.

"I guess we should talk, than."

I can't believe it. Did those words really just come out of his mouth?

If he wasn't looking at me so expectantly, I would've thought he imagined it. "Yeah, I guess we should."

"Do you want to start, or should I?" he asks.

When I don't say anything he nods and goes on. "Okay, I guess I will, than."

He licks his lips as if looking for something to start off with, and I sigh. This is going to be a long night if I don't help him out. "Let's start with us."

"_Us_, us. Or you and me, us?"

I blink. "As a couple."

He nods slowly and then takes a sip of his glass, putting it down on the table and buying himself a little more time. "I don't want to lose you, Rory."

My heart aches. I want to hold him and tell him that everything will be okay, but I don't know if it will be. It's not possible for me to reassure him while he's hours and hours away. We'd hardly get to talk in between both of our work schedules and social lives, as well as the time-difference.

I don't see how it could work, but I don't want anything to change. "I don't want to lose you, either."

"But you realise I can't give up this job, don't you?"

I nod. "You realise I can't give up my entire life, don't you?"

He takes more time, but he nods reluctantly. He doesn't want to realise it, just like I didn't want to realise his. "So what do we do?"

I run a hand through my hair that's hanging loosely and pull it up into a messy bun on the top of my head. I don't care how much of a slob I look like, I'm comfortable, as always, with Jess. "That's the million dollar question, isn't it?"

He blinks. He didn't expect that to be my answer. "No. The million dollar question is if we can work through the long distance. Or if you even want to."

My defence shoots up. "Well do _you_ want to?!"

"Do you think I'd be sitting here, being civil if I didn't?!" he snaps back.

I close my eyes and rub my temples. He's right. This is going to be hard, but I realise I want it to work, no matter how hard it is. "I don't want to lose you."

"It's going to be hard." he says softly.

My eyes shoot up to his. I know that. I know it's going to be difficult as hell and it's going to hurt me. "I know … but it's going to be a hell of a lot more difficult without you in my life."

He stays silent for a little while. "So we'll make it work?"

"We'll make it work."

A little light goes on in his eyes and a string at my heart tugs. Suddenly the cramps in my belly start to loosen, and I'm thankful.

"I was hoping you'd say that."

I lick my lips. "But what happens if you meet a girl over in Ireland?"

"I'll tell them the love of my life is back in America and I'm taken." He doesn't blink.

My eyes shuffle down to the table. "I'm going to miss you."

"I have a little while before I have to leave."

I close my eyes and try to remember the dates. His flight was in …

I gasp, shaking my head. "No! No! I screwed up! I haven't seen you in a month! We only have a week before you leave-"

"Love! Relax." I know he's trying to be soothing, but his voice comes out a strangled cry and he stands up, his chair scraping on the wooden floor.

Without even realising it, I'm crying and he's standing right in front of me. "Rory. Rory, look at me."

I try to see him, but my tears make it blurry and I bury my head in his chest as he sighs and moves forward, pulling me into his arms. "Oh what are we going to do?"

I want to tell him that there isn't anything we _can_ do, he's leaving. He's going to a different country, and I'm going to be left all alone, by my own free-will.

"I won't go if you don't want me to."

My heart stops beating. He didn't just say that.

He's offering to stay! And we can be happy and our lives will go on perfect as always. We'll grow up and have babies and get married, and our babies will grow up and give us grandchildren.

But the little voice in the back of my head creeps. _But this is his dream job. You'll be killing his dream if you don't let him do this._

"I can't ask you to stay."

He pulls back and looks me in the face. "Well than what can you ask me?"

For a moment I don't realise what he's asking me to ask him, but I don't mind. Slowly, I grab his jacket and push it down his shoulders, watching as his eyes darken and he knows what's going to happen between the two of us soon.

"Rory. We're meant to be _talking_."

I don't stop pushing his jacket until it's on the floor behind him. "We can talk later, right now I want to do."

Without need of any more persuading, he grabs my sweater and pulls it over my head, unlike the first time we made love. It's obvious he's in a hurry, and I am in no need to stop him.

I haven't seen him without his shirt off for a month. I haven't felt him inside me for a month. I haven't had his tongue entwined with my own for a month. The thoughts make me cringe.

He pulls me forward in my chair so I can wrap my legs around his waist, and then he stands and turns around, planting my bottom firmly on the table where I get a better grip on his waist.

His lips break from mine and plant soft kisses all the way down from my cheek to my neck and he starts working his wondrous magic, like he's always done.

My hands find his curly black hair and I scrunch it underneath my fingers, a groan coming out of my lips before I can stop it. "Jess?"

"Mmm?" he doesn't stop what he's doing.

"Did you come … you know, prepared?"

He stops kissing my neck and pulls back to look at me, a smirk on his face. "Did I bring condoms?"

I know my face is as red as a beetroot and I can't look him in the eye.

"Yes." he says softly, taking his lips in mine.

He slides me to the end of the table and put his hands around my thighs, picking me up and carrying me to his bed, where he'd slept when he'd first come to Stars Hollow and now slept when he worked nights at the diner and couldn't be bothered to drive home.

I don't know how it happens, but his jeans and my jeans disappear until we're just skin and bone pressed together, moving against each other, yet as one person.

_Oh my dear God._

_I can't believe I frigging missed this for one whole month._

When I say it, I don't know if it's because I'm ridiculously happy from an itch that was well scratched, or if it's because I'm love. It's probably a mixture of the two.

"Are you still awake?"

We're laying so our noses are touching, but his eyes are closed.

Slowly they open so we're staring straight into each other's souls and I can feel his minty breath hitting me in the face.

After we made love in the bed, we moved on to the shower, where we got dirty and clean at the same time ( if you get what I mean c; ). We ended up brushing our teeth and hoping back into his bed, planning on sleeping together.

Luke and mum still aren't around to open the door, and it's lucky we have food in the apartment or I would have broken a window by now.

"Yeah."

I put my hand up and stroke his cheek. "It's not going to be easy."

"I know."

"And I'm going to drive you crazy."

"No you won't."

"And you know how expensive our phone bills are going to be since I'm going to be ringing mum every day."

He's about to reply when the words hit him and his eyes grow wide. "Wait- what?"

I can turn back now. I can tell him that I made a mistake and used the wrong words, but I don't want to. I _want_ to take this new journey of my life with him. "I'm saying I'll go."

And suddenly the last month seems stupid as hell to me.


	15. Breathe At 3AM

Chapter Eleven:

"What are you doing?!"

I jump, shining the torch up into Jess' eyes as he walks sleepily towards me, a little yelp leaving my lips.

He puts his hands in front of his eyes, but that doesn't stop him from turning to the left and walking into the wall.

"What are _you_ doing?!" I screech. "Don't you know it's 3am?"

"Don't you know it's 3am." he repeats again. "Well, I know that. I was wondering why on earth my girlfriend wasn't in bed next to me."

I look guiltily down at the book that's opened in my lap. I promised myself I would only read one chapter tonight, since I hadn't started it and by the time I sat down to read that first chapter it was 12pm. Now I feel ridiculous. Up to page 643 and I'm too sucked in to put it down. "I was-"

"Reading." he chimes in, nodding. "I know, don't worry."

I yawn, as if on cue, and he grabs my bookmark from beside me, sliding it into place despite my yelling at him. "Give it back!"

"Come to bed!"

"Give it back!"

"Come to bed!"

"JESS! Give me back my book!"

His eyes narrow. "Out of me and the book, which one had sex with you tonight?"

My eyes shift to the book. _It contains sex_, I want to say, _does that count?_ But I don't. I know he wouldn't think it was funny, since he's tired and he's a grumpy gills when he's tired.

"Fine," I say softly.

A look of relief floods his face and I feel guilty. I know he's only trying to look out for me, since I start work at eleven am tomorrow and he knows I won't get up if I don't get my full eight hours of sleep.

I stand up and he wraps his arm around my shoulders and it dawns on me how tired I really am. My body doesn't seem to want to move.

I wrap my arm around his waist and reluctantly, I start walking towards his bedroom. "I was just starting to get up to the good bit."

He looks at me sceptically and I know he's thinking about how far I'm into the book before he even says the words. "Baby, if it took you that long to get up to the good bit, it's not a good book."

I glare at myself. I walked right into that one. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Another yawn leaves my lips and when his bed comes in to view, I want to run and lay down in it. But at the same time, my energy is dried up and I know I can't move faster than the slow pace I'm going.

"This is what it's going to be like when we're old and grey."

I try not to take offence to his words, since I know I'm the only reason why he's not back in his bed yet.

For a trip that would usually take us ten seconds, it's taken a few minutes, but he doesn't complain and I'm once again grateful that he finds the place in his heart to love me.

"I'm sweepy, Jess." I whisper as he pulls the blankets up to my chin and walks around to his side of the bed, pulling me so his chest is pressed to my back.

"I know, baby girl."

I yawn again. "Thank you for coming and getting me."

"That's okay."

"Thank you for loving me."

I don't hear his reply, since I'm already asleep when he speaks them, but in my dream I can hear his laugh and he whispers words that I can't make out.


	16. Time Of Our Lives:: The Last Chapter

**A.N/ ****Guys, this is it (: The last chapter. Hehe. Thank you for sticking with Rory (:  
I hope you liked it! Xx**

The Time Of Our Lives:

My time in Ireland had done a lot for my self-confidence.

But it was nothing like being home in Stars Hollow.

"Mama, he gone!"

I smile at her as she looks up at me, her eyes as big as her fathers.

When I don't answer her, she repeats herself again, proving the point that she is as stubborn as her father. "He gone! He gone!"

My knees hit the ground so I can look at her face-to-face, and I put my hand up and stroke it through her black hair. "Where'd he go, baby?"

Rosa-May was born six months before. She was a little small for her age, and when we'd been given the news that she was coming out two weeks before expected, I know I wasn't the only one who feared for her safety.

"He gone!" she yells, turning away from me.

Without another word she begins running into the long grass that comes up to my knees and covers her completely.

"ROSA!"

But it doesn't matter how hard I yell – I know she won't come back and she'll laugh about it later when I try to tell her not to do it again, just like every time I've done it before.

"Rosa?" I call again as I start to follow her.

There is _no_ way I'm going to be able to find her. If she doesn't want to be found. That's the good thing about the grass, if someone wants to kill us they won't be able to find us.

He'd looked at me like I was crazy when I said that, but he should have known the wavelength of my thoughts.

"Rosa, come on, baby. Mama's starting to get wo-"

I don't have time to finish the rest of my urgent sentence before she cuts me off, her voice high and excited.

"I FIND YOU!"

He jumps up from the ground and picks her up, spinning with her straight up in the air as if she weighs nothing. "You found me!"

"I dizzy!"

From her voice, I know_ just how dizzy_ she is and I can't help but smile. If he doesn't stop, soon Dean will have vomit all over his face.

Without a second thought, he stops spinning and manoeuvres her some way or another so that he's carrying her on his shoulders. If it was anybody else, I would be worried. But I've always trusted Dean with my life, and I couldn't really take his little girl away.

"You hungry?"

They're heading towards me, and he reaches my side, shooting me a smile as they chit-chat between each other.

"Hungy- hungy," she nods as if her life depends on it.

When he announces that he's going to make her lunch, he shoots me one more time before he starts walking with her back towards the house.

And for the hundredth time in six months, I'm reminded of how lucky I am.

* * *

The bed sinks on his side when he crawls in next to me.

I've been trying to sleep, but, like always when he's not there, my brain just keeps talking and showing me images and memories.

It's always been the same – I've always needed him.

"It's 4AM,"

I can hear the sigh that leaves his lips when his head hits the pillow.

He's in nothing but his loose pyjama pants that hang from his hips, showing his muscular back and arms. "Sorry I'm so late, I-"

"_Couldn't stop working_," I say with him.

When his eyes open to look at me, I can tell he's as sleepy as ever.

"What did you do today?"

I want to tell him everything I did in detail, but I know he won't really listen, so I tell him the short version. "I spent time with your daughter."

He yawned. "Did her God-Father end up coming over?"

I snuggled up next to him and pulled his arm over so it was around my waist, keeping me safe from any harm. "No, he had to work today. That's why he came yesterday."

He nodded and pushed his head into my arm, kissing it softly. "Night,"

Before I could even reply, he was asleep and snoring loudly and I smiled, leaning down to kiss his forehead.

Dean was sleeping by now, so it was obviously too late to ask him if he was going to make an appearance the next day. His God-Daughter jumped out of her skin every time she got to see him. But, since he had children of his own I couldn't really expect him to be there every day.

"I love you, Jess."

In reply, he just smiled in his sleep.


End file.
